Hit Me With a Flower
by RottingWine
Summary: When Damon gets back home after the killer spree and locks Sybil up, it seems as a half-way win. But that leads to even more complications, including Stefan's intention to kill Elena. Yet when Elena wakes up and Bonnie is not exactly dead, it means only one thing: the danger is among themselves. (based on canon; focus on Bamon friendship)
1. Prologue

Bonnie walked through the open door in the Salvatore Boarding House. She saw frightened Caroline leaning to Damon who sat motionlessly at his chair.

She had just been running when she'd decided to call Caroline. She'd had a decision to make, but one of those that wouldn't let her sleep nor eat, and even though she'd had her mind made up already, she would have appreciated some advice from her best friend.

Dropping everything for another (apparently Siren) problem was guilty relief.

"He won't wake up!" Caroline whined. She cracked her fingers at Damon's face. "What is wrong with you?"

"How long has he been like this?"

"I don't know, hours, maybe, who knows," Caroline sighed. "I was up in bed when you called, then you said you were coming, so I came down and boom, look at him. He hasn't moved an inch yet."

She leaned back to Damon and tried to find any sign of life behind those absent eyes. "What has that siren bitch done to you?" she said quietly.

In spite of their fiery beginnings, Caroline had developed a huge amount of compassion for Damon. At the end of the day, he'd been with her mother within her last moments, and she owed him for that and she owed him for saving her twins, even if it meant offering Stefan as servant to the Devil. She had also never particularly supported Elena's choice of the love of her life, but Elena's happiness was Caroline's happiness. Now she needed Damon desperately to convince Stefan to turn his humanity on; she'd promised herself she would help him.

"I'm gonna try to get inside his head."

She touched his arm.

 _Fire. Anguish. Sorrow. Fear. Despair. Guilt._

 _Pain._

Caroline screamed and jumped away from him.

"What is it, Car, what did you see?" Bonnie asked, calming her down.

"I don't know, there was so much pain and screaming..."

"Then that's what Damon's feeling. Look," Bonnie pointed at him. A tear ran down his face.

"He's in hell," Caroline realized. A few years ago, she would have happily left him burn there, she would have even brought popcorn and enjoyed the punishment. But a long while had passed and a lot of things had happened since then; if not for her, then for Bonnie she had to wake him up. Caroline knew how much Damon meant to her, even if she was too proud to admit it after his departure without any goodbye.

"Where is she? Where is Sybil? If she caused this, maybe she could fix it," Bonnie suggested.

"Shh, can you hear that?" Caroline whispered. Slight humming as if someone had been singing was coming from the basement. They didn't have to think twice to find out who it was.

Sybil was locked in the cell. Her sassy eyes and thick lips smiled even though she was under fairly miserable circumstances.

"Well," Caroline said, "looks like we have a rat in the cellar."

"Are you annoyed?" Sybil asked. "I always thought this was your resting face. Let me guess: Damon's not feeling very well."

"What did you do to him?" Caroline blazed out in anger.

"Oh, I just flipped that little humanity switch of his back on," Sybil answered innocently. "Isn't that what he wanted?"

"So why is he such a zombie now?" Caroline asked.

"Probably, he couldn't handle all the memories rushing back all at once." Sybil's voice was beautiful and annoying at the same time. And in spite of anything she said, she kept intriguing smile on her face. Bonnie was cold to her, but Caroline was straight irritated. "You know, killing all those people, killing Tyler, selling his brother's soul over to Cade... no wonder he's got emotional overrun. But don't worry, I can fix him."

Caroline gazed at Bonnie. She frowned.

"If I get what I want," Sybil added.

"How unexpected," Caroline noted.

"You're out of your mind if you think we're letting you out," Bonnie said. "You're gonna mess with our heads, too."

Sybil laughed quietly. Even tied up to a chair in a cellar, she remained on the top of things: "It's not that you have any other option, right? Unless you want a ripper spree at your wedding, caused by the groom himself because the best man can't save him from his dark self. Although," she lowered her voice. "I hear the wedding's looking kind of bleak now."

"Fine," Caroline sighed and untied her. The wedding was her soft spot: she would do anything in the world to get the real Stefan back. "What do you want?"

"You weren't kidding," the Siren said when examining the damage done in Damon's mind. "It's all flames and brimstone in here. It's going to be a bit more complicated than I expected," she admitted.

"What do you mean?" Caroline was beyond annoyed now. "You screw, you fix, simple as that."

"You're seeing only the surface," Sybil explained, "consciously, Damon believes he's in hell."

"But why?"

"He thinks it's where he belongs. So you better go inside his head and change his mind."

"We tried, remember? Didn't work so well."

"Because you didn't go deep enough. I can take you through the back door, give you a little sneak peek to his subconscious."

"Just do it," Bonnie told her impatiently.

Sybil beckoned them each to grab his hand.

* * *

Damon walked out of the door, still shattered from the hell he'd been through. He heard Bonnie's breath as she was sitting on the porch. There she was, the strongest of them all, the only one who could bring him out of the misery. She sat hugging her legs, looking somewhere into the night.

"Hey," he said as he approached her.

"Hey, stranger," she smiled and moved so Damon could sit next to her.

"Looks like I'm interrupting a reflective moment," he said, faking guiltiness in his voice.

"It's fine," she assured him. "I'm reflecting on good things for a change."

He smiled and looked down. His face showed off all his pain, his vulnerability, his fear. "Wish I could say the same thing."

"What you did while you were under Sybil's control wasn't your fault, Damon." Bonnie took his hand, cold and sweaty. Damon looked at her with grattitude in his eyes. "You didn't have a choice."

Bonnie understood what it was like to be a victim of something one couldn't influence, whether it was mind control or just the nature of a curse. She had been there herself, she had tried to kill her true love because she'd had no choice: she'd been the huntress, cursed by someone's need for vengeance because of her desire to live.

" _Dear Bonnie_ ," he started all of a sudden. " _I'm a coward. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter but I know if I do, you'll talk me out of running away from all my problems. You're gonna make me face the future without Elena and you're gonna help make me the best man I can possibly be, same way she did. And I'm absolutely terrified of failing you both. So I'm leaving, because I'd rather let you down once than let you down for the rest of your life. And I hope it's the happiest life because you, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player and my best friend. With great love and respect, Damon._ "

Bonnie wouldn't let Damon see how much the letter affected her. She was even more impressed that he'd memorized it.

"Gotta admit," she said and wiped the tears from her face, "it's a hell of a letter."

"I was such an idiot for leaving you behind," Damon said and Bonnie nodded. "Is there any chance you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know, depends," she teased him. "Are you planning to do it again?"

"Never," he said firmly, still holding her hand and now slightly pressing it to demonstrate how serious he was.

He remembered the moment she'd chosen Enzo when Sybil had controlled them to kill each other. He hadn't felt anything when his humanity had been off, but now it came, and at first the memory felt like a pinch, but now it was piercing through his heart. It made him understand what Enzo actually meant to her. He admitted to himself that he would choose Elena over Bonnie as well if he had to. However, he was not so sure whether the choice would be so obvious.

"You should go to Enzo now," he suggested.

Bonnie nodded. "Yeah."

When she got up to leave, Damon asked. "Did he ask you to become a vampire?"

Bonnie turned and looked him in his baby blue eyes. He knew what the answer was, though he wasn't present to give her any advice on that one. Or consent, at least. "I know I can't. If something happened to Elena..."

"Do you want it?" he interrupted her, demanding the answer.

"It's not an option. Even if I did, we can't risk it. Kai said clearly: no witchy jumbo mambo, no loopholes. Bad news: vampyrism is magic."

Damon frowned. He gazed absent-mindedly at his car, parked near the front door. "I'm so sorry, Bon Bon."

"It's not about me, Damon," she said. "Elena is my best friend. It's bad enough that you're stuck with me for next, I don't know, sixty years instead of being with her."

"Come on, Bon, we've been over this already."

"Well, I don't feel guilty about living my life anymore," she shrugged.

"That's good."

"But I wish Elena could be here living it with me." Her voice got lost in supressed cries. "With you."

Damon hugged her and tears on her face seeped in his t-shirt. He wished to give her the happy ending she deserved, he wished to pay her back for everything he had done to her.

"I know, Bonnie," he whispered, "I know."

"Sometimes I feel it's all my fault."

"No, no. Don't think that," Damon protested. "None of this is anyone's fault but that Gemini magic-sucker freak. You wanna blame anyone, blame him."

"He's dead," she noted.

"Burning in hell, I hope," he added.

* * *

Enzo was playing guitar by the fireplace in the living room when Bonnie came home.

"Hello, love," he greeted her as usual with his compelling voice. Bonnie hugged him from behind and kissed him on his cheek.

"What about our hell case, did he wake up?" Enzo asked, still strumming. Bonnie sat down and snuggled next to him.

"Yeah. But we're not finished," she said. "There's still a devil to kill. The Devil."

"Enzo?" she asked half-heartedly.

Enzo looked up at her. "What is it, love?"

"What if," she hesitated, "what if you could take the cure?"

Enzo stiffened. He put the guitar aside and gazed at Bonnie, both shock and confusion on his face. She would swear she saw a spark of joy in his eyes.

"I know what I'm asking you to give up. But I can't become a vampire. Not if Elena..."

"You want me to take the cure?"

"I'm not forcing you, it's just an idea." She waved her hand as if trying to make that idea go away, even though she didn't intend to sweep it off the table.

"So we would spend our fairly short human lives together and then die, side by side?"

"I thought that was what you wanted," she almost whispered. She felt so small at that moment.

"Bonnie Bennett," he started, "there is nothing in this world that I want more or that would make me happier than to grow old with you."

Bonnie's face lighted up and showed all her teeth in a big smile. She wrapped her arms around Enzo's neck and kissed him. She had no idea she had so enormous capacity for love and passion. Each time she thought she couldn't love him any more, he made her move the line even further.

"Does Damon agree with this?" Enzo asked.

Bonnie was silent. Obviously, Damon wanted to be the one to take the cure from Elena, and probably only from Elena.

"You haven't told him."

"Yet," Bonnie protested. "Why wouldn't we do something we want for once? Why couldn't we be the selfish ones? I won't ask Damon for his approval of my happiness."

"Oh, Bonnie Bennett, that's the spirit, that's the woman I love."

Enzo pulled her closer. Their lips drew together again. It was beyond his comprehension how he deserved to be a partner to this incredible woman. He was the lucky man. Not even eternity with her would be enough; taking the cure and dying next to her was an honour because it meant he would for a fact spend the rest of his life with her. It was their own forever, however limited it was by their mortality.


	2. Chapter One - Reborn

Watching Elena sleep in a coffin was unsettling. Bonnie saw her chest move up and down as she breathed, when she held her hand, she felt the pulse of her blood running through her veins. Yet she couldn't get over the notion that behind something as peaceful and serene as sleeping there was something so dark and evil.

She knew that Elena would wake up one day. To Bonnie, Elena was dead and ironically, she did all in her power not to wake her up, because it would mean only one thing: that she herself was dead. She had bought this house to keep Elena safe, because everyone thought she was hidden in a warehouse in Brooklyn. But it was the people who loved her the most who were the most likely to hurt her. With the new danger having come to town, and after the Salvatore brothers had turned their humanity off, Bonnie felt obliged to protect Elena herself.

The last favour Bonnie needed from Elena was a few ounces of her blood, this time not because she was a doppelgänger (that didn't mean much anymore), but because she was the Cure now.

"How much do you think is enough?" Bonnie called Enzo. She measured the right amount of Elena's blood in a syringe. "Enzo?"

"I can't get in." Enzo stood upset at the door, although he had just been inside talking to her.

"But I invited you in," she said nervously. "Come in."

Enzo tried again, but unsuccessfully.

"What is going... Enzo? Enzo!"

Enzo opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His eyes were empty and soulless. He collapsed on his knees and then fell down, without a sign of life. Stefan Salvatore stood above him, with face of a beast, the Ripper, and if there had been her good friend inside him, he was locked deep, deep inside without any chance of getting out. He held Enzo's heart in his hand like a trophy, and blood was dripping on Enzo's lifeless body.

"Enzo!" Bonnie yelled. Before she got to run to him, Stefan rushed to her and disabled her.

"I know why you're here. I won't let you do this to Elena. I will kill you," Bonnie clenched her teeth.

"You can do nothing, you powerless human," Stefan smiled without humour and broke her neck. "See you in hell."

After getting gas from the trunk of his car and getting inside, where no other vampire could enter, Stefan heard a familiar sound. Damon's Camaro. _Too late, brother_ , he thought as he pourred the gas on Elena's body and all around the room. With Bonnie dead, how long could it take before Elena would wake up from her life-long sleep?

"Stefan!" Damon shouted. "Stefan, stop it, you don't have to do this. Please."

Stefan threw a match into the room and everything burst in flames, including Elena's coffin.

"Stefan, come out and let's talk. It doesn't have to be like this, just come out. Stefan, please!"

"Why don't you come in, brother?" Stefan shouted as he watched the fire spread. He walked out the door, patted Damon on his back and grinned. "Go," he grinned. "Save your girlfriend."

He expected Damon to attack him, so he prepared every muscle in his body to protect himself, but he heard only a whisper: "Bonnie."

Damon only just noticed the lifeless body across the hall, only a few feet from the room where Elena was burning alive.

"You killed Bonnie!" he shouted at Stefan, debating whether he should go after him and kill him. Just when the killer in him was getting ready, in a blink of an eye, he saw Bonnie move.

She slowly opened her eyes, confused and dazed by the fire, and having trouble to breathe. But all that was nothing compared to what she felt inside: immense hunger.

When she realized where she was and what was happening around her, she noticed she still held the syringe with Elena's blood in her hand.

"Damon!" she called. The syringe slid across the floating floor and stopped by the treshold, where Damon could take it. Bonnie hoped he would realize it was the Cure and what to do with it.

Damon understood immediately. Even though he had all the reasons, he didn't hesitate a single moment and used his vamp speed to surprise Stefan, who was walking away with a satisfied grin after fulfilled task, with one simple stick to the neck.

"Guess we won't have to worry about turning your switch on, bro," Damon said, looking down at Stefan who passed out, being no longer a vampire.

Meanwhile, Bonnie managed to tear off a carpet from the floor in another room, where the fire hadn't spread yet. It felt like forever before she put out just enough fire to get to Elena. She would not accept the idea that it was too late to save her; that was not an option. Between countless coughs, she dragged her out of her coffin and subsequently out of the front door, surprising herself with her strength.

Damon waited for her at the door and when Bonnie got close enough, he took Elena from her and moved her as far from the house as possible. He was horrified when he saw her. Her skin had burns all over it, nasty ones; the body hardly resembled Elena. A slight feeling of relief ran through him when he heard her weak heartbeat. She was alive.

Same couldn't be said about Bonnie.

Bonnie ran as far from the burning house as she could, then she stumbled and fell down. She looked at her hands and arms, that had just moments ago saved Elena's life - again. The burns she had weren't disimilar from those caused from Rayna Cruz's blood. Yet she couldn't manage to feel this pain, because the only thing on her mind was the pain of hunger. _For blood_ , she concluded. And for some reason, the hunger made everything else seem insignificant. As soon as she got Elena out and the danger of death was not so immediate, everything seemed to be in a blur. All the light both from the sun and from the fire was blinding, sounds were louder than ever. She knew it was a matter of hours when she would lose the ability to think clearly, and a few more hours before she'd take her last breath.

Damon had no other option than to call emergency; the vampire blood wouldn't heal Elena anymore. He almost forgot Bonnie was even there, having eyes only for Elena. Bonnie just at that moment could let in the fact that Enzo was dead.

She got up and sped to his body. She moved his head to her lap and caressed it.

"Enzo. Enzo," she repeated with a dull voice, swallowing her own tears. "No, no, no, no..."

"Enzo!" she screamed. "No!" she cried. The pain felt like a heart being torn out from her chest, as if her body as a whole had been being taken away from her. Now she forgot completely about the hunger.

Suddenly, someone touched her arm.

"Bonnie, hey." It was Damon. He was careful as if she'd been about to explode any second. She stared at him and her eyes were empty, that for a moment he thought she didn't see him.

"Come, we'll put him in the car," he said softly.

* * *

Elena was in coma at the intensive care unit. Doctors told him her life wasn't in danger and she didn't need any transplatation of skin, but the healing would take weeks. He wasn't surprised, and it didn't matter because she was not going to wake up. Technically speaking, she was in coma for the next six decades at least.

"Hey," Bonnie walked in, seeing Damon sit by Elena's bed. Only hospital beep, beep filled the air. Bonnie's head still hurt from the excessive crying.

"I felt so powerless today," he said quietly. "I couldn't stop him."

"It's not your fault," Bonnie objected. "If anyone's to blame, it's Stefan."

"It was Cade," Damon said. "He knew that taking the thing I care about the most away from me would make me want to go to hell."

"Anything but live without her," he added.

"What did the doctors say, anyway?"

Damon grinned. "That she should _have a rest._ In fact, they say that if everything goes alright, she should wake up today. Which we all know she won't. You got her out soon enough, though, so the burns aren't as bad, but they're still scared of infection. They will keep her at least forenight."

"That won't hinder anything," Bonnie remarked. "I guess she's safer here than locked up somewhere in a coffin."

"Certainly."

"Poor Elena," Bonnie uttered a sigh.

"Poor fragile-human Elena," he corrected her. "I'm starting to regret that I wasn't selfish enough to keep the cure away from her."

Bonnie frowned and categorically said: "You make it sound as though you'd lied to her."

"What do you mean?" Damon asked as if cought by surprise.

"You never wanted to be human, and neither did you want her to be."

"Of course not," Damon sniffed. "But I would do anything to be with her and to make her happy."

"But you don't want to take the cure," she insisted.

"Yes, I do, Bon. I want to grow old with Elena, I want to have children with Elena, I want everything with Elena. Whatever she wants, I want it with her. She thought I wouldn't want to take it, she sent Stefan to change my mind, and guess what: not happening."

"I know all that," Bonnie dismissed, "and I'm not convinced."

"Well, that's not my problem."

"Stefan's the cure now," she noted.

"So what?"

"You'll have to find him and get it from him."

"There's a plenty of time to do that." Damon waved his hand.

She almost told him that she wasn't so sure Stefan would survive till tomorrow, but suddenly...

"Oh my god, did you see that?" Bonnie said, pointing at Elena.

Elena's fingers started moving. Damon heard her breath go faster. Then her lips moved as well. She gasped loudly. And she opened her eyes.

"Elena?" Damon whispered, and then said her name once again.

"Am I awake?" she asked.

"You are," Damon assured her.

Looking all around her, realizing she was in hospital and feeling all the burns and all the hardness of her breathing, piercing through her lungs, she couldn't but ask what happened.

"That's complicated," Damon smiled. His eyes shone for the tears of happiness.

"Why am I burnt?" she asked again. "I was on fire? Did anyone try to kill me? Was it Kai?"

"Ho, slow down, Elena," Damon calmed her down. "Too many questions at once for a girl sleeping so long. If I answered one, you would ask twenty more."

"How long was I asleep?"

Damon was silent as if he hadn't wanted to tell her. But in fact, he was counting, because the time without her felt like centuries even without his peculiar perception of time as a vampire.

"Wait. If I'm awake, that means that..." Elena stopped.

"Almost five years," Bonnie said hesitantly, as if the voice hadn't even belonged to her. She stood in a corner across the room, hidden in the shadow.

"Bonnie!" Elena exclaimed when she saw her. "You're here! That means you broke the spell!"

Bonnie smiled and didn't say anything.

At that moment, staring at her, Damon finally understood what he hadn't seen up to this point: Bonnie hadn't broken the spell. And when she had laid lifelessly in that house earlier today, she hadn't been knocked out by Stefan, not even had she fainted from the smoke. She had been _dead_.

"Yeah, Elena, I'm here," Bonnie said.

Her lips smiled, but her eyes gave away it was a lie, one that Elena didn't see. Now only Damon knew what was going through her mind at that moment. Happiness and relief over Elena, hatred towards Stefan, and grief for the loss of Enzo. Above all, hunger. He knew she could have fed yet and complete the transtition. He promptly came up with a plan how to get her a blood bag as fast as possible. _Shouldn't be so hard in a hospital_ , he thought.

What Damon didn't presume was that she didn't want to finish the transition. She had to leave the hospital before she broke down from all the goodbyes that she was supposed to say. She had to leave because the scent of blood, constantly lingering in the air in this building, was driving her insane.

* * *

Bonnie drove back to Mystic Falls, with Enzo's dessicated body in the trunk. She cried, she screamed, hitting the wheel, pleading the God to bring him back. Yet the only thing that could possibly bring him back, her magic, was lost for good.

She arrived at the cemetery. She considered herself obligated to give Enzo a proper burial, and she would need one, too. She started digging: two graves side by side.

She had bought two coffins on her way, for what she had received weird faces, yet no one had said a word. Bonnie's face was a picture of pain, fatigue, grief, and added her several years.

The work was getting harder with the hunger getting more and more unbearable. She'd lost count of how many hours she had left to feed or to die.

Then out of a blue, a thought ran through her mind: Stefan had been right; no one could fight harder, stronger or longer than her. There was one last thing she had to do before putting herself to the sleep out of which one couldn't wake up.

Bonnie had to kill Stefan Salvatore.

* * *

Bonnie looked for Stefan in the Boarding House, assuming he would come back to Caroline. Yet upon her arrival, the house was empty. She at least pourred herself a glass of bourbon, hoping not only it would give her nerve, but also curb the craving for blood.

"Well, well, look who's drinking my bourbon," she heard familiar voice.

"Damon. Shouldn't you be with Elena?"

"I got her transported to Mystic Falls and now she's sleeping. _Again_ ," he explained. "But this time she's gonna wake up in your lifetime."

He pourred himself a glass as well.

"Talking about lifetimes, we need to talk," he said emphatically.

"I'm not," she said.

"I didn't ask anything!"

"I know what you're thinking. I'm not completing the transition, Damon. I can't be a vampire."

" _You haven't fed yet_?" he almost shouted.

"I won't."

"How the hell did it happen?" Damon asked, throwing arms in the air. "Why did you have a vampire blood in your system in first place?"

Bonnie shrugged. "I just did."

"You must drink, Bonnie."

"No."

"I can make you."

"You won't."

"You bet I will. There's no way I'm losing you, Bonnie. No freaking way." Damon put emphasis on the last three words by saying them seperately word by word.

"You knew it was gonna happen: you get Elena, you lose me."

"But that was before we knew you can live as a vampire, before you could even live a long, happy life as a human. I'm not letting you die now," Damon refused.

"Enzo's dead, Damon!" Bonnie yelled. She lost her last bit of patience, she couldn't hold up calmly anymore.

Damon couldn't oppose that, but neither could he put himself in her shoes. Obviously, if Elena died, he would kill himself on the first occasion, succumbing himself to hell and Cade. However, he didn't have a habit of comparing others to himself and vice versa.

"Okay, Bon Bon," he said. He left her alone in the living room, heading straight to the cellar. There was a refrigerator with a stock of blood bags. _If you won't feed on your own, someone will have to help you_ , he thought. He was prepared to cram it down her throat if it were necessary. Only a little bit was enough to complete the transition.

"Where's Stefan?" Bonnie asked when Damon came back upstairs.

Damon was thunderstruck.

"I have no idea. Why?" he asked. "You're not planning on doing anything stupid, are you?"

"He killed Enzo," she mentioned once more, "I just want to get one last thing straight with him. And by the way, I may not be a vampire, but I can still smell the blood. Put it away, Damon."

"Oh, this?" Damon pulled his hand with a blood bag from behind his back. "That's for me," he shrugged. "I would share a sip or two with you, though."

"That's not open for discussion," she retorted. "How many times have I died already? I'm pretty sure I can handle another death."

"But this time we won't be able to bring you back, Bonnie! There's no Other Side anymore. Heck, there's not even another prison world where you'd be stuck living the same day all over again."

"Good, good. Because I've been to both and neither of them is a jackpot."

"Are you really giving up? You, Bonnie Bennett, of all people in the world?" Damon lowered his voice. "If this is payback for what I did to you, I take it. But think of others; Caroline, Elena, even your mom. Don't hurt them to make me suffer."

"Stop making everything about you, Damon!" she yelled. "Admit to yourself for once that the world revolves around you. It's not even about Elena or Caroline. This is _my_ choice. Trust me, I have thought about this a million times and I know what I want. Or rather don't want."

"You're choosing death, even if you hurt people," Damon summarized.

"You're not exactly the one to give me lessons about hurting people, Damon. I don't want to become a vampire _so I don't hurt people_. But that's something you can't understand, can you."

"No, I can't," Damon replied.

"I have never put myself first and I have always been the one to be hurt. Since the moment vampires came into my life, it's been hell. Even if it meant meeting Enzo. How does it matter now? He wanted to take the Cure for me, Damon. He actually wanted it, he wasn't giving up anything, it was not to please me like you want to please Elena. We wanted to get old together because we loved each other. And now he's dead, and so am I. It will stay that way."

Damon cringed when she'd mentioned his promise to take the cure for Elena. She was right. Being a vampire was the second best thing that'd ever happened to him. He didn't want to be a human. He wanted to please Elena - because she was the first best thing. He could never comprehend why anyone would give up life so as not to be a vampire, and what was so tempting about being human. In his eyes, being human was desperate and unfortunate.

"I need to go," Bonnie said.

She headed to the door. She had countless places to go at in case Stefan was hiding in any of them, and only a limited amount of time left before the weakness from the lack of blood would break her and kill her.

"Where're you going?" Damon asked.

"Find Stefan," she answered without turning back.

Damon used this as a moment of surprise, because being turned around she couldn't see him coming. He clutched her so she couldn't move her arms. She screamed at him to let her go, but he was already trying to feed her the blood. She fought hard, turning her head away as far as she could from the blood bag, her lips stuck together, jaw firmly clenched. But Damon was a hundred times stronger than her. He made the mistake of setting her arms free to open her mouth, so Bonnie took advantage of that and ripped the blood bag out of his hand and threw it away. Damon, bewildered for a second, let Bonnie go. She managed to run.

She got halfway to her car when Damon jumped right in front of her. Before even realizing it, she tasted the metal taste of blood, and as much as she tried to spit it out and fight Damon, a fair amount had already passed down her throat and more and more was coming.

Bonnie stopped fighting. The damage was done. She resigned and fell on her knees. Meanwhile, Damon stopped feeding her the blood. He was struck and confused not only by her sudden submission, but also by the absence and emptiness in her eyes.

"Bonnie," he gasped.

"What did you do," she whispered without even looking at him.

"I had no choice," he said, not specifically to her, but in general trying to justify what he'd just done. He was convinced he'd done the right thing.

"What did you do!" she cried hysterically.

Bonnie got up at her feet and went to her car. Vampires were supposed to be pale and cold, which was not the case right now for Bonnie. The blood rushed to her head and the rage caused it to feel like on fire. It was like the ultimate fever. All the emotions now flooded through her, every memory felt like a present moment; Enzo's death played back and forth in her mind.

"Bonnie!" Damon shouted.

"You've made an enemy, Damon," she replied behind her shoulder. She couldn't lose any minute now.

What could be any better revenge than killing the person who had killed Enzo and also brother of the guy who had turned her into a monster? It took only one person to die. Bonnie hardly kept her eyes on the road. All she could see was Stefan's dead body and Damon's face once he'd find out.

If anyone was to blame, it was the Salvatore brothers, and Bonnie wanted to make them pay.


	3. Chapter Two - Un jour comme un autre

It took five people to compel before Caroline managed to get to Elena. She couldn't believe it when Damon _texted_ her that she wasn't asleep anymore. He could have called...

 _What happened to Bonnie?_ was the first thing she asked herself. The second was: _What happened to Elena that she was in hospital?_ But the ultimate question was - _How?_

Damon wouldn't pick up his phone and neither would Bonnie. Caroline felt completely left out. She hoped he'd be beside Elena and clear things up for her there. Or Elena could do it herself.

It was half past one at night when Caroline silently opened the door of Elena's room. She was asleep. Caroline listened to her steady breath and heartbeat in sync with beeping of medical devices. She would barely recognize her if she hadn't known it was Elena. Almost every square inch of her skin was covered with bandages. The medical report, hanging at the feet of the bed, aquainted her with Elena's condition: burns of 2nd degree on sixty-five percent of skin, of 3rd degree on one percent of skin, with prognosis of successful healing. She didn't have to be a doctor to know that despite whatever that'd happened to her, she'd been lucky. And then there was bunch of medical terms she didn't understand, but which Elena sure would translate to her, being an excellent pre-med student. _Five years ago_ , Caroline thought bitterly.

It seemed more like forever ago since she'd dropped out of college, and not even for one second did it ever occur to her that she would come back one day. The twins were the priority now. _And Stefan_ , she added swiftly. She might have been locked up in an eternally seventeen-year-old body, but inside she was growing old probably even more profoundly than she would have as a human.

Either Caroline made too much noise or Elena had light sleep. Perhaps she sensed her coming.

"Caroline?" she wheezed. "Is that you?"

"Hi," Caroline asnwered. She was on the edge of joy and relief; it was a feeling almost as magical as seeing the babies for the first time.

"Oh god, Caroline," Elena said, "you have no idea how happy I am to see you! You have to tell me everything! How's your life been? Did you graduate?"

Caroline laughed, a litte moved. "We have so much catching up to do." _Where to start - I'm a mother now._

"Trust me, sleeping and dreaming for years is not such fun as one would think. I have total sleeping hangover."

"You just woke up," Caroline reminded her, "you were sleeping when I came."

Elena grinned. "Alright, you got me."

She gasped.

"Are you alright?" Caroline freaked out. "Do you want me to call help? I think I've seen a doctor -"

"No, Car, it's fine," Elena insisted. "I'm fine, just a little trouble breathing, that's all. It's all the fire. And that five-year-long nap threw me off a bit as well," she joked.

"What happened to you, anyway?" Caroline asked.

"To be honest, I have no clue," Elena shook her head. "Damon promised he'd tell me 'when I'm better'. Where is he?"

"I don't know," Caroline answered honestly, "I thought he'd be here. You know, maybe he just went home to get you some stuff."

"Yeah, you're right, that'll be it," Elena said, in a way convincing herself. "What about Bonnie? Is she with him? Have you seen her?"

"I haven't, either. I'm totally _not_ up-to-date. I tried to call her as soon as I found out you were awake. And she's not picking up. Openly, I'm quite worried about her."

"Well, she was here with Damon earlier. She probably went with him to the Boarding House. But you know what, most likely she's home sleeping."

"Wait - she was here?" Caroline yelped in surprise. "I don't wanna know what the two are cooking together, because Damon is not picking up, _either_."

"That's weird."

Up to this point, Elena was just confused - and that seemed normal after waking up to entirely different world than when she'd fallen asleep. But now she began to worry as Caroline's nervousness made her very suspicious.

"I should try to call Enzo..." Caroline thought out loud.

"Enzo?" Elena was amazed. "Why Enzo?"

"Ah, that's a long story," Caroline replied.

"If I were to count how many times I've heard that today..."

"We've been writing everything down as promised," Caroline smiled. "So let me know when you feel like reading and I'll bring you five-years-worth of journals from all of us. And let me tell you - it's _the_ pile."

"Sounds like I'll be doing nothing else for another five years than catching up," Elena laughed.

The door open.

"Damon," Elena exclaimed. "Where have you been?"

"Is something wrong?" Caroline asked slowly. "You look as though you've seen hell again."

"What? _Again_?" Elena wondered. "But no, let me guess: 'it's a long story.'"

Caroline pressed her lips together, silently confirming Elena's words.

"Is it Bonnie? Just say something for god's sake, I don't understand any of this."

"Hey, detective, chill out," Damon said. "Bonnie's just fine."

"She broke the spell," Elena said avidly, almost festively, and not knowing that she helped Damon from uncomfortable explaining.

"Did she? I thought it was impossible. So she's really alright? Does she have her powers back?"

"Not exactly. We found a loophole," Damon clarified, pleased to realize it wasn't even a lie. The spell _was_ broken, after all, and it _was_ sort of a loophole.

"I brought you these," he told Elena, waving with some journals in his hand. "I took mine," he placed them one by one on her lap, "Stefan's, and Caroline's. It might give you a rough idea."

"You were in my room and took my journal?!" Caroline burst out.

"Come on, you've written it to be read," he opposed.

"Do you really think I'm able to read like this? I'm a mummy," Elena pointed out. "Why won't you just tell me everything I should know?"

"Alright, long story short: Enzo's dead and Stefan's human."

"He's human?" both Caroline and Elena exclaimed in disbelief.

"But that means -"

"- that you're not the cure anymore," Damon finished. "Just don't ask me how all that happened, please." He felt higly uncomfortable about telling them the truth: that Stefan had attempted to kill Elena. It was just too much.

"Who are we supposed to ask, don't you know?" Caroline objected. "You come here, blow our minds and say we shouldn't ask!"

Damon's phone began ringing just when he was prepared to defend himself. It was Stefan. Damon frowned, partly from suspicion and partly from amazement.

"Hello, little brother," he replied.

"Damon, I need your help."

"Wait - what? Where are you?" he asked and left the room. Caroline would probably hear their conversation, but at least Elena wouldn't.

"She's after me, Damon, I need you help!"

"Slow down, Stefan, who _she_?" Then he realized: _she_ was Bonnie. "I'm on my way. Where are you now?"

* * *

"What's wrong with Stefan? Who's after him?" Caroline asked when he returned. Her vampire hearing might have been enough sufficient to hear their conversation, yet she had trouble processing the information. It made no sense.

"You keep asking 'what's wrong' today, Miss Broken Record, " Damon complained.

"Seriously, Damon, what is it?" Elena beseeched.

"I got this," Damon said. "Caroline, stay here with Elena, will you? Bye baby," he kissed Elena - as much as her bandages allowed him. "I'll come back soon, promise."

"Damon!" Caroline exclaimed angrily. "God! What is _he_ up to!"

"Tell me about it," Elena sighed. "I feel like an alien who just fell to Earth."

"Well, I also expected your boyfriend to be more excited that you're awake," Caroline noted. "He might as well actually care."

Elena gasped again. Caroline stiffened when she heard the unnatural noises her lungs were making.

"Well Damon," she coughed, "always the hero."

The beep-beep of the devices became urgent.

"Elena? Elena, what is it? Elena!" Caroline shook with her, trying to get her react in any way - whether it was pain or just reassurance that she was alright - anything.

Caroline bit her wrist, prepared to give Elena her blood to heal her, but then she remembered: cured vampires couldn't process the blood. _Maybe it doesn't work only for the Cure, but once the cure is gone, out of the system_ , she pondered and hesitated.

The doctors rushed in just seconds before Caroline could make her, possibly dangerous, decision.

* * *

The engine was revving and urgently roaring. Stefan held his foot on the gas pedal and here and then he looked up to see how close the care behind him was. Its high beams were on and successfully blinding him.

Bonnie had been following him for a couple of hours already, ever since she'd figured out he'd come home, now after his accidental metamorphosis to human that set him free from Cade. She'd also counted with the fact his guilt after another ripper spree would gulp him immediately, and that he would be stunned to see Bonnie when just several hours ago he had killed her boyfriend.

Stefan had actually been naïve enough trying to talk some sense into her and apologizing; Bonnie'd grinned at that, because how could one lame apology take back everything that Stefan had put her through? Not only her, but everyone else as well. How could it bring back the love of her life? Her life had gone down the hill the moment he'd come back to Mystic Falls,.

There were two voices - _two Bonnies_ \- arguing inside her head. One said: "If you kill him, you'll be no better than any other vampire. Be on the top of it." and the other only seeked revenge and to hell with moral principles. Nothing could stop her now.

* * *

Damon kicked another pebble ouf of the way, swearing to himself that Stefan couldn't have been more vague about his location. This road had approximately XY miles and Stefan could be on any spot, and Bonnie obviously stuck on his back. Damon figured out that eventually, they would pass by the _Welcome to Mystic Falls_ sign.

He parked his Camaro behind bushes where it was basically invisible from the road. The plan was an oldie: wait for the fastest care to came - which would be Stefan's - let it pass, and step in the way of the following one - that would be Bonnie's.

The anger made her beyond dangerous and hotheaded. Damon wasn't so sure that she wouldn't attack him. He actually counted with the possibility she would; the likeliness of it made him feel a bit weary. But he didn't regreat at all turning her into a vampire: it was the only way to keep her alive. If this - the temporary danger before he'd bring her back out off this rabbit hole - was the price to pay, he was more than willing to pay it. And the following months or years of spleen was nothing he couldn't handle. At least so he thought. She couldn't hate him forever, right?

He got another impatient call:

"Damon, where are you?" Stefan panted to the phone. Damon would have sworn he heard even his heart beating.

"Courage, Stefan, I got you covered -"

"Hurry! I think she's catching up."

"Just gas it and speed straight to Mystic Falls."

"Mystic Falls? Are you kidding me that you're still in Mystic Falls and not on the road!"

"Just do it, Stefan! Get your ass here before she'll make meatloaf out of ya!" Damon ordered and hung up.

* * *

Seeing Stefan _was_ actually going back to Mystic Falls, Bonnie was annoyed that she'd wasted time looking for him. She could have as well just sit and wait for him in the Boarding House.

Upon finding him and a little awkwardly attacking him, she believed that he wouldn't risk going home knowing she would hunt him down, because that was Stefan - _"I have to run away, there's no other way, I can't put you in danger."_ Blah blah blah. But he was not a vampire anymore. Now she had to count with several vampires trying to stop her and save him.

Maybe it had been the irritation cause by being turned into vampire against her will, probably excess energy that needed to be vented, that'd led to this high-speed trip. The tension could be reduced, she thought, by tracking Stefan down and chasing him to death.

She clenched her teeth. Her fangs enlarged and she felt the blood pumping in the veins that appeared, as she saw in the rearview mirror under her eyes. She did look like a monster, she realized, like a demon. She hated her own reflection. It was all Damon's fault; she hated him for doing this to her. Hate. Hate. Hate.

Hate was the only thing Bonnie felt. It outgrew the grief for Enzo, it made the amazement of Elena's awakening negligible. Hate infiltrated her entire undead being.

Bonnie was getting closer to Stefan, but not close enough. Chasing him gave her peculiar sense of thrill. He'd be her victim in a matter of short time, but it was the fear he felt right now as she breathed on his back that pushed her forward. She had absolute power over him; it was up to her to decide whether he would live or die. Her choice was obvious, yet she wanted to enjoy the feeling of proponderance, or even supremacy, to the fullest.

The tires sqeaked on the concrete as Bonnie pushed the braked down to the floor. _That silhouette wasn't there a second ago_. She didn't even shake off the shock when the silhouette grabbed her out of her care and threw her out to the bush along the road.

 _Damon_ , she figured.

In a moment, Bonnie was back on her feet, determined to get back on the road before Stefan got too far. Damon stood right in front of her.

"Well, what do we have here?" Damon said. "Will you blow the whistle and tell me what are you doing here?"

"You know the answer. What are _you_ doing," she said, more as a reproach than a question.

"You know, I was just spending some quality time with my girlfriend and her friend when I got a call from her fiancé, who happens to be my brother, that he was being hunted by a rageous newbie vampire. I'm sure you understand what that implies," he winked.

"Mind you own business, Damon," Bonnie retorted and deliberately ran into him as she tried to walk away back to her car.

Damon grabbed her arm. "That's exactly what I'm doing."

He miscounted. In a blink of an eye, he lay twenty feet away between the trees and bushes, with small sticks stuck everywhere. She vamp-speeded to her car, and Damon hear only revving of the engine.

He lay there for a few seconds and silently moaned, when a raindrop fell down on his cheek.

"Great."

He jumped up and dialed Stefan, hoping he had given him a sufficient head-start and tat he wasn't dead by now. Damon pondered about the places Stefan could be headed to, and the most foolish one came out as number one. The Boarding House.

* * *

Stefan hoped from the bottom of his new human heart that the vampire weapons and wooden bullets were back where they belonged. He didn't plan on killing Bonnie - he wasn't prepared to kill anyone ever again. The goal was to weaken her, distract her from her killer mindest.

He had no idea who put them back into the throne since the twins still lived in the house, but there they were in their entire beauty: guns, wooden stakes, vervain granades, even a small crossbow Jeremy had used to use. Stefan exhaled in relief: the odds were apparently in his favour.

Deep inside, Stefan admitted to himself he deserved to die and Bonnie was, unfortunately, absolutely righteous with the intention to kill him. He would never forget the pain he'd caused to so many innocent people. What a monste he was wanting to kill Elena and almost following it through! Had he ever been so close before? What about the time when he had been compelled by Klaus? No. And it seemed just legimate that Bonnie took the justice in her hands - Stefan could never repay her for killing Enzo. That was also the only thing he could do - planting pain all around him.

Although he was aware of all that, still there was Caroline. He had to fight for his life for her. The desire to run away escape from all those he'd hurt, was nothing compared to the need to be with Caroline. Leaving her _again_ would be betrayal and he'd never be able to repair what he'd destroy. Dying meant leaving. And he was far from suicidal, so fighting Bonnie - as clumsily as he could - was the only option.

The cars were coming, one and shortly after the other. They stopped.

Stefan hid behind a corner and surprise her. He did realize how naïve it was, because she could hear him breathe, she could hear his heartbeat and maybe even sense his blood. But it was better than nothing. She couldn't know that he had a weapon in his hand which he was really skilled with. And vervain, of course.

Bonnie smashed the door. _As if I hadn't been here today already..._ She lost no time and speeded to Stefan; his breathing was so loud and annyoing. She grabbed him by his throat, pressing him against the wall. He choked and his head was getting swollen incredibly fast. He dropped the weapons because all the strength he had was instinctively used to fight her with bare hands so he could breathe.

"Finally I get to do this. You know, I never even imagined how this would feel. But it's actually pretty cool," Bonnie said, half-smiling.

"I'm sorry," he gasped after every two syllables. "Please. Let me go."

"Oh, no, I won't do that." Her voice was alarmingly calm and... was it irony Stefan heard in it?

"Let's talk about this," he faltered.

"Less talking, more dying, Stefan," she hissed through her teeth. And then Stefan saw it. The blood in her eyes, the veins under them, the fangs peeked through her lips. She was no longer the Bonnie he knew.

In a flash of thinking straight Stefan remembered that he had a vervain grenade and a small wooden stake in his pocket. He had to act fast and precisely; any mistake was fatal, Bonnie had reactions of the speed of light.

He pulled the granade out of his pocket and crashed it against her ear. It exploded and sprayed the vervain over her face, so her squeeze eased and he could escape. While catching a breath, he staked her in her arm. She stumbled backwards, preoccupied with her injury.

Damon jumped out of nowhere to pacify Bonnie, who had already the burns from vervain healed and the stake pulled out. Although being older and stronger was his advantage, he had to be very careful and foresightful. He hadn't seen anyone so blustery and fierce - since Katherine Pierce, the ultimate survivor.

Stefan touched his face; pieces of the plexiglass of the granade got stuck all over it. He stared at Bonnie and Damon from a short distance, in shock, pulling a piece by piece of the glass out of his face. He had seen countless vampire fights, he had been a part of many more of them. So why was he suddenly so overwhelmed? Why did it seem more like a loud and vivid dream than reality? It was as if he had been watching himself sit there on the floor where had thrown himself.

"You can't kill him. He's human, Bonnie!" Damon yelled.

"I know," she said with a clenched jaw. "And I don't care. Easier to kill him that way."

"Run, Stefan, run! Take the car!" Damon shouted at him. "Damn it, Bonnie, it was all Cade! He made him do that."

"No, he didn't," she burst out. "No one made him do all this. He made his choice all by himself, he killed Enzo without a reason. He deserves to die!"

"Don't be insane, Bonnie, just chill the hell out! He's not a vampire anymore," he said as Bonnie tried to knock her elbow in his ribs. "Listen to me! Stefan's not a vampire. You don't want to kill him."

"Oh yes, I do, and you have no idea how much."

"Don't make me fight you, Bonnie," Damon threatened her.

Even with all the weakness of a new vampire, Bonnie was an equal fighter against Damon. The anger and desire for vengeance were great fuel for her strength. _Not_ hearing Stefan start the car was making him nervous and distracted. He focused so hard on not letting her go that he didn't even see all the weapons lying just a few feet away. One incautious movement and she'd be free.

"It's your fault," Bonnie said. "You made me drink blood, you turned me into this monster. I'm only making use of it." _One last time before I die_ , she thought.

"So you kill him, and then what? The guilt will haunt you forever." Damon tried to be rational, but even he knew that rage and brain were not good friends and only one could win. With someone as emotionally driven as Bonnie was right now, he didn't give it much of a chance. "You will hate yourself every miserable day for the rest of your vampire existence. Did I mention that means forever?"

"I'm not you, Damon. I won't feel guilty for doing something I should have done a long time ago."

"It won't bring Enzo back, Bonnie! Killing my brother won't solve anything."

"No, but it will feel good," she said with disturbing lightness in her voice.

She escaped his grip, making full use of her newly gained speed to go after Stefan, who'd hardly got used to his human slowness and clumsiness, something he hadn't experienced for over a hundred and fifty years. The only thing moving him forward was the survival instinct. His legs were shaky and he slipped on wet leaves every ten feet. The rain was heavy and the night was moonless. His sight sucked, to say the least.

"Okay, Bon Bon, you give me no choice," Damon said as he broke a branch from a tree nearby to use it as a stake.

Bonnie cried out. The stake stuck out of her back, just between the scapula, and she collapsed on the moss soaked in rain water. She tried to pull it out, which only caused her more pain and each attempt pushed the stake deeper and closer to her dead heart. To her greatest horror, she began to cough blood.

At any other given moment, she would think this was for the best and that she _should_ die. However, now she hated the idea that she would have to leave with unfinished business, without any closure.

"You know, I was debating it for a moment," a voice above her said, "but now I'm certain. You flipped the switch."

"You should know all about that." Bonnie wheezed. "How good it feels, being able to shut off all the pain."

"Look, I know that after turning into a vampire everything got hightened, especially the grief for Enzo..."

"I don't care about any freaking grief," she said.

"Yeah, sure you don't," he sniffed out, "because your switch is off. But once it's back on, everything will be much worse if you kill Stefan."

"That comes from someone who wanted to kill him for over a century. He wanted to kill Elena - how many times? And he almost did, just a few hours ago! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"He didn't, and that's the point! I never did actually kill him, because he's my brother. He didn't want to hurt me today, he did all that because he had to."

"Oh, he wanted to do it, and you know it," she insisted, with mocking tone in her voice. "Nothing would bring him more pleasure than to see you suffer. It's what he is."

"No, it's not, not anymore. He's human now. The Ripper is gone for good. And even after everything he's done to me, all the pain he put me through, I forgive him. Because _that's_ what brothers do."

"Should I wipe a tear? Who would've thought you're weaker than me. Just pull the damn stake out of my back so I can finish this for us both..."

An unexpected pinch and then intense burning spreaded from her neck to her entire system, making her weak and in a way besotted. It felt as bad, if not worse, as the stake stuck in her back.

It was a shot of vervain, she realized before passing out, put right to her carotid artery for better effect.


	4. Chapter Three - Angsty Adults

The cell in the Boarding House stayed as Sybil had left it. Damon had enough sympathy and concern for Bonnie to make it as comfortable as possible for her, but it never escaped his mind that this was in fact prison. And he hated it tremendously.

 _It's for the best_ , he was convincing himself, and added out loud: "For your own safety, Judgy. You'll thank me later."

He closed the door of the cell, glanced at Bonnie, all powerless and prostrate, through the grids. As he did, he felt sorry for her. Damon was far from emotional and collateral damage didn't bother him. Usually. It was different now: he saw through her rage. But he understood the necessity of standing as her enemy for now. That was not a sacrfice - that was how the things were and had to be.

Upstairs, Caroline sat at the couch cross-legged, cross-armed, tapping her foot nervously.

"Thank god," she said when Damon entered the room, "where is everyone?"

"Hello to you, blondie," he replied. "Why are _you_ here and not with Elena? She shouldn't be alone."

"Exactly, you should be there with her," she said and sighed. "Have you seen Stefan? How is he?"

"Nope."

"Lying," Caroline said. "What happened to him?"

"He freaked out."

"Why? Was it Sybil? Did she psycho-whoosh him again?"

"Doubt that," Damon said. "She cares only about her ass now. Anyway, where did you hide her? I'm curious about the price you paid for my awakening."

Caroline couldn't get a word out of her mouth.

"I don't think she decided to go on the path of a saint," Damon noted. "Don't tell me you sweet-talked her."

"No, obviously not."

"So?"

"So where's Stefan?"

"I haven't seen him since he ripped Enzo's heart out," Damon shrugged, leaving out the part where Bonnie hunted him in order to kill him.

"He did what? Oh my god, Bonnie," Caroline murmured, "is she alright?"

"Asking again, Miss Broken Record... In my humble opinion, she is," Damon coughed to win some time, "so to speak. She is taking it quite unpredictibly."

He hated himself for saying that as soon as the word had left his mouth. He immediately realized he couldn't have chosen worse word.

"What do you mean by that?" Caroline wondered.

"She'll be fine."

"Her boyfriend just died," she protested, "she won't be fine for a long, long time."

"Did you know she wanted him to take the cure?" Damon asked suddenly.

Caroline held her breath, unsure what to answer to such a question.

"I did," she said finally.

"Then you know how she really feels, Car," he told her and lowered his voice, "there's nothing else to say."

Caroline looked down, as if she'd been ashamed. And in a way, she felt that way. Having lost so many people already, she even knew there was nothing she could do for Bonnie except be there for her when she needed.

"Is she home or...? I think I should see her."

"She left," Damon said, "probably went home, I don't know. She wanted to bury Enzo's body. But it's late, she'll be sleeping. She wanted to be alone."

"I'm sure she'll want to see me," Caroline insisted with a laugh without humor. "But maybe you're right. She should have a rest."

"Absolutely," he agreed.

"We should do a proper funeral for Enzo."

"Yeah," Damon nodded.

"He was your friend," Caroline said, ready to comfort him.

"He was."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm much better than Bonnie," he replied, pourring himself third glass of bourbon.

" _Right_ ," she mumbled. "I have to go see Stefan," she said. "Will you finally tell me where he is?"

"What, I thought he would run straight to you."

"Well, clearly he didn't," she said. "It looks as though he hasn't even been home yet. I'm worried about him, Damon..."

"Stefan is a big boy, he'll manage himself."

"Aren't you even a little bit curious how he's handling being human again? And what about Cade!"

"Yeah, that one _might_ be a problem," he admitted.

"Then I suggest we start looking for him _now_ ," Caroline ordered and walked away.

Damon stepped in her way.

"One more thing. Where's Sybil?"

"Why do you even care?" she asked hesitantly.

"Apart from obvious reasons?"

"I took care of it," she waved her hand. Damon grabbed it.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did," she hissed.

"Then why are you so nervous?"

"What? I'm not... I'm worried about Stefan, okay?!"

"Just a minute ago you were worried she hurt him. I wonder why."

"Well, is there any other manipulative bitch killing people?" Caroline asked sarcastically.

"Since Katherine died? None," he replied. "But why do you think she would want to hurt him?"

"Jesus, what do I know? She's unpredictable."

Damon let go of her. "Well, well, Caroline, I just hope you didn't do anything stupid," he said. He got around Caroline who stood bewildered at the door. "For your own sake. And Stefan's."

She gazed at Damon with confusion, sensing that there was something else she didn't know about, something not quite right.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I'm talking the deal you made with that psycho killer," he answered over his shoulder, still walking away from her. "You're a bad liar. Now let's find your fiancé. I think I know where he might be."

In fact, he knew exactly where Stefan was: on the road, out from Mystic Falls. Damon was the one to have sent him there. But putting two and two together, he figured it'd be better to drive Caroline to him, than let her eventually find out about Bonnie and screw things up. One had to choose the smaller evil.

"Damon!"

"What?" Damon asked impatiently.

"There's something you should know," Caroline admitted.

"Please, tell me you're not making a confession about what you cooked with Sybil, please!" he moaned.

"It's Elena," she said, her voice so low she almost whispered.

Damon lost his attitude. "We're _not_ joking about that."

"When you left earlier, something... _happened_."

"Stop talking in hints and spit it out! What's with Elena?"

It didn't matter what Caroline's answer would be. He headed straight to his car to drive to hospital. It was foolish of him to leave him just for a second. _God!_ How angry he was with himself!

"She had trouble breathing and I thought that it was the fire, that's what she said - by the way, I still don't know what fire she was talking about. Her heart was all weak and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to give her my blood -"

"That wouldn't work."

"I know! So I was completely desperate and then the doctors came... And from what I understand, it's not good."

"What do you mean 'it's not good'?"

"I think something went wrong with the spell. Elena is not healing as she should. She's getting worse."

"So you're a doctor now?"

"No, but even the doctors looked confused. They thought it could be infection, but..."

"But? What does the spell have to do with it?" he said with a sudden change in his voice.

"She's dying." Caroline's lips moved, but she didn't say anything out loud. Damon understood.

"And you're wasting all this time talking about Stefan?!" Damon burst out yelling. "Seriously, Caroline, what is wrong with you?"

"There's nothing you can do, Damon! I didn't want to upset you, but you should know. The doctors do what they can, I'm sure."

"Sure they can heal a former vampire from supernatural death? Don't think so."

"I didn't say it was the spell."

"Not making it better," he said with lower voice.

"I just think so. It's all so messed up - what else could it be? Kai said that one of them would die if we'd tried something. So maybe the spell Bonnie did..."

"Don't you dare, Caroline!" he yelled out. "Don't you dare say that!"

 _The spell, the spell, can everyone please shut up about the spell?_ Damon raved. There was no freaking spell. It would be so easy to say that Bonnie had done a spell that would kill Elena. But she hadn't. _She had died_. But now she wasn't exactly dead. And Elena was dying.

That meant that one of them actually had to die _completely_. And since Bonnie was immortal...

No, no, no, that was not a possibility, he categorically refused it. Elena wasn't going to die from anything but old age. Period. But what could he do now? Tell the truth? _Surprise, surprise, Bonnie is a vampire, locked down in the celllar because she flipped the switch and now she's a murderous beast going after Stefan, who not only killed Enzo, as you know, but also killed her. Oh, and by the way, I'm the one who forced her to drink blood_.

"We have to get a witch," he decided.

"Bonnie, duh?!"

"What? No," Damon glowered. "She can't do magic."

"But then how did she do the spell?" Caroline asked, not giving away that she suspected Damon of secrets.

He gazed at her hesitantly. "She can't do a spell that could kill her," he corrected himself.

"She did already -"

"Now we know it didn't work, we need to find someone else."

"Is there something I should know?" she said after a while.

Damon looked her in the eyes for the first time in a long time. "No."

"Where's Bonnie, Damon?"

After a moment of silence that felt like forever, he replied: "Safe. And forget about seeing Stefan. He's gone."

"What? What do you mean 'he's gone'? What have you done to him?!" she raised her voice as her anger began to rise, too.

"Nothing!"

"Then tell me where he is!"

"It's for his own safety, Caroline!" he spat out. "And openly, Elena's life is bigger priority now than your love drama."

Damon turned back on his way to his car. He was fed up with road trips, but what else was there to do?

"Where are you going now?" Caroline asked helplessly.

"None of your business," he replied swiftly, jumped in the car and pushed the pedal all the way down.

* * *

 _February 19, 2018_

 _For the first time in five years, I'm not adressing this to Elena. She's awake and I'm long gone, back in Savannah. I had to leave. The phone keeps ringing: Caroline is worried. But as long as Bonnie wants to kill me, I cannot stay - Damon's instructions. The truth is I'm hiding from responsibility. I hurt so many people the last time I became the Ripper. Countless people dead, including Enzo. The worst thing isn't that he's dead, I never had too much sympathy for him. It's that pain that I've put Bonnie through. I lost my friend. I can't look at their eyes. The blame is on me, nothing will take it away. It's deserved._

 _I'm haunted by what I've done to Elena. Damon called me to tell me how bad she was doing: she's dying, and has been for a few days now. This time not quite sleeping beauty, but straight in medically explainable coma, though with unexplicable causes. And despite the fact he admitted that partly it was my fault, the danger is much bigger. It's the spell, it's Bonnie being killed by me and then coming back again as a vampire. We've been all playing with fire._

 _I'm waking up every night, covered in sweat, breathing fast and heavily, my heart in my throat beating so fast it seems it's going to jump out of my body. I usually don't remember the nightmare exactly, but it all has to do with me killing Enzo, then Bonnie, Elena and then putting up with Damon. As if a nightmare could be worse than reality..._

 _Vampires feel everything much more intensely, and I do remember how consuming the guilt I felt was each time I turned my humanity back on. Being human, I don't feel it so magnified, but it's crippling. However, the truth is that I believe I deserve much more than this - I deserve hell and agony, punishment for doing all this._

 _Damon assigned me to use my time (if I want to make up for my deeds) and search for witches. It used to be so simple to move fast and track people down as a vampire;, at least now I could use it to my advantage: witches don't like vampires, so if they're convinced they're helping humans, I might get somewhere with it. I'm on a good track, I believe. It would be all much easier if I were allowed to speak to others, but I can't risk it. Good that I'm used to working alone._

 _For the time being, I have to stay careful about my whereabouts in case Bonnie escapes the cell or anything else happens. What breaks my heart is that I can't even let Caroline know what's happening. Damon gave me his word to keep her out of it, so she has no idea neither about Bonnie nor what I've done to Elena. Me leaving without saying a word, or Caroline finding out about the horrible things I did: she will hate me either way._

 _The phone is ringing again, yet I can't pick up. Not today._

* * *

The heavy door to the cell creaked. Bonnie's tired eyelids moved up to see who she'd expected to come: Damon.

She didn't bother to get up from that uncomfortable bed made of iron. That was what Damon called hospitality - that she didn't sleep on the ground.

"Bringing some breakfast," he ...warbled. "You haven't eaten since I made you feed."

"Thanks for reminding me," she mumbled, her voice all hoarse. "How long has it been?"

"Ah, five days? I don't know, I lost count," he grined. "But hopefully enough to make you weak."

"Are you enjoying this?" she asked, trying to crawl out of the bed. It squeaked, and Bonnie's face deformed from the pain it caused to her head.

"No, Bonnie, I'm not. I would much rather you to be upstairs and help us with our crap!" he said dryly.

"Just give me that blood," she pointed at the bottle he held in his hand, "so I can think at least a bit clearly."

He dropped it down in front of her. "Many thanks," she said.

"I'm surprised you didn't try to get out," he noted casually. "You're the most obedient captive I've ever met."

Bonnie sniffed. "What's the point? I bet everyone is on watch out to get me back."

"In fact," he said, "I didn't exactly tell them yet."

"Tell what? That you're holding me down here?"

"That you're a vampire," he replied.

"So Caroline upstairs...?"

"Yeah, she doesn't know," he shook his head. "I tried to convince her to move back to her house temporarily, but she doesn't want to hear about it."

"Waiting for Stefan?" she asked, putting emphasis on saying his name with disgust.

"And you. I told her you left town to clear you head, but I think she doesn't believe me," he shrugged.

She scoffed. "No wonder. You keep telling lies -"

"I've got it under control."

"I bet you're getting lost in it," she said wryly. "You know I could cry out just now and Caroline would speed down here in a second."

"You won't..."

"I want to give you a chance," she smiled.

"Chance for what?"

"To let me out yourself. I know I will have to prove a point to you: no problem," she said.

"That will be your biggest problem, Bon Bon," he crossed his arms. "You can forget about it till you turn back your emotions."

"Oh, don't start with that," she sighed. "You know that's not the problem.

"Yes, it is," he warbled again.

"No," she insisted. "The problem is I wanted to drain Stefan of blood and then throw him at the face of all of you to prove you I wasn't gonna be your scapegoat anymore."

Damon scowled. "I don't need details."

"Well, the real deal was just drinking his blood," she shrugged. "But god, did I want him dead... I thought he deserved it, but then I've realized that when people take in all the things he did, it will be much worse for him to cope with that than being dead. I won't be doing him any favor."

"As I said, spare me the details," he said. "We can talk when your emotions are back on."

"Damon, you're not listening - I wanted to _drink his blood_."

He stared at her. Then he realized: "He's the cure."

"I didn't flip the switch, you know," she shook her head. "I feel that way."

"Yeah, I know that trick," Damon waved his hand, "not interested."

"What trick?"

"Pretending to have turned the switch on."

"I'm not pretending," she refused. "It made perfect sense to me, see, it was simple: I would drain Stefan of blood, so I wouldn't have to be a vampire anymore and Stefan would be dead," she explained. "All at one blow."

"You wanted to do it even though it could have hurt Elena?"

"What do you mean, hurt her?"

"Theoretically," he started, "if you became a human, you wouldn't be dead and Elena would be a Sleeping Beauty again - do you see where I'm going with that?"

Bonnie nodded.

"I had other plans. Putting Elena asleep wouldn't be an obstacle for me. Being this," she made a gesture with her hand, "being a vampire changed me."

Damon half-smiled. "Yeah, I hear that a lot."

"Elena is my best friend, I wouldn't want to hurt her. If she were asleep again, it would only hurt you. You'd get through it. I'm not this person, believe me. I don't want to kill people."

"I'm not letting you out. You tell me all that and then expect me to be so gracious to let you out?" He threw his arms into the air and sniffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"But because I told you all that, you should," she raised her voice.

"How about this: _No._ "

"I have a suggestion," Bonnie said, "solution to all your problems."

"Not that I'm expecting anything, but I'm listening," Damon said crossing his arms again, leaned to the door.

"Take a bit of Stefan's blood, bring it right here to me. I will drink it, become a human and you can let me out. I won't hurt anyone."

"You decided to kill Stefan in transition," Damon objected.

"I changed my mind as a vampire."

"I'm not risking Elena's life."

"But how? She's awake, the worst thing that could happen would be that she'd fall asleep again, you just said that."

"Or die, right?" Damon said. "We're slinding on thin ice already, Bon Bon, playing with magic does no good."

Bonnie locked her eyes with Damon's. She couldn't confess to him, neither to herself that in her picture becoming human was stronger than keeping Elena awake.

"Elena's dying," he announced. Really, that was what it was - an announcement. And suddenly, her picture broke to pieces.

"She's what?" Bonnie yelped out. "What do you mean 'she's dying'? Was it the fire? Did I come too late?"

Damon shook his head. "Worse. It's the magic."

"Magic? What..." Bonnie left the sentenced unfinished. Just a minute ago, the possibility of Elena dying in the process had been somewhat acceptable for her, though it'd been buried deep inside her and she would have never admitted it. It was the vampire who was this indifferent to death. She didn't want to put her life in danger, but putting her under the sleeping spell again was tolerable consequence. Hearing that she was actually about to die - struck her. "It's me, right? It's because I'm not _dead_ dead. Because I'm a vampire."

Damon was silent.

"Isn't it? I'm killing her."

"I don't have a clue what you taking the cure would do to her," he said, avoiding replying her.

"Why aren't you with her right now?"

"Because I'm out here trying to figure out how to save you both. I can't just sit there and watch her die."

"And do we have any options?" she asked, with no sign of hope nor genuine interest in her voice.

"I tried to reach some witches that could help us," Damon answered, "I even convinced Alaric to do some digging in the Armory, but it's the same dead end like before."

" _Before_ \- you mean when it was just Kai's spell?"

He nodded.

"It's your fault, you realize that? I didn't want to finish the transition. Magic is always trying to find balance, that's the way it is. You messed it up by forcing me to feed."

"Letting you die was not on my to-do list for the day," he hissed.

"Turning me into a bloodsucker apparently was," she said sarcastically.

"If it meant saving your life," he shrugged and smiled without humor, "anytime."

Bonnie lowered her head. "I won't make it as a vampire, Damon. This is not who I should be."

"Sure you will, you're doing just fine," Damon appeased her. "You haven't killed anyone yet, you didn't attack any innocent passerby..."

"You're not helping."

"Look, Bonnie, what do you want me to say? This is hell of a complicated situation, I know that. But that's it. If I could do anything without risking one of you two dying, I would. There's nothing. _Yet_."

"What if I refuse to drink blood?"

"I wouldn't recommend that," he said; Bonnie heard a threat in that.

"What if?" she insisted.

"Then you will dessicate. You'll be weak, dizzy and hungry, more than you've been so far, and then you'll be like a corpse waiting for a drop of blood to wake you up. But you won't die. Being stubborn won't save the day."

"You were in a coffin like that for three years," she noted.

"And you want to do the same thing?" he asked, apparently amused by that. "Well, I'm glad at least one of us is strong enough to say goodbye."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Don't you get I'm desperate? I wanted to die and you did this to me, now I want to take the cure and I can't - because what if it hurts Elena. I'm tired, Damon. Elena's dying, Enzo's dead and the only thing keeping me sane, the only thing I hold on to is this hope that maybe there's somewhere a way to get him back. And I can do nothing because I'm stuck in this cell as a vampire and my magic is gone for good."

Damon looked at her quizzically. "How do you want to bring him back? The Other Side is gone. Destroyed. Poof. Non-existent."

"That's the worst thing," Bonnie said. "He's probably in hell. But you know what?" Her eyes lighted up. "That is finally something you can take care of!"

"What do you mean?"

"Go to hell and ask Cade if Enzo's there. Then get him out."

"Are you serious? How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way. You always find a way and never ask anyone for permission, never take others into account," she shrugged. "You owe me, Damon."

"How do I... Alright, Bon Bon, alright. I'll try what I can," he gave up to appease her; this was tiring him. He turned to leave.

Bonnie smiled widely. "That's all I wanted to hear."

He turned back and looked at her, his hand on the handle. "You know, being a vampire really doesn't suit you," he said.

He wanted to add: _You remind me too much of one dead manipulative bitch I used to know_. He didn't say anything, he knew that being compared to Katherine would hurt her even more; it was insulting. But seeing the similarities was uncomfortable and it kept popping up on his mind. The worst thing was that he now believed her humanity had been on the whole time - what would happen if she'd actually flipped the switch? And what was going to happen after she'd get comfortable and used to being a vampire and aware of the entire extent of her powers and strength? Had it changed her _that_ much?

"Damon?" she called when he closed the door behind him. "If you bring me my grimoire, or anything, I can try to help. I may not have my powers, but I might come up with some ideas."

"You haven't done that already? Because Kai said 'no magic'? Really?"

"Do you want my help or not?" Bonnie asked impatiently. "I'm willing to take my offer back."

Damon frowned. "Fine," he said. "You're not exactly busy as a bee now, anyway, so you might as well do some research."

"You realize that if I became a human, I might even get my powers?" she said, as if by the way. "I'd be more helpful as a witch."

"That is not feasible."

And he slammed the door.


	5. Chapter Four - Bad Ones And The Worse

Bonnie lied. And although she thought she should, and she wanted to, she felt no remorse.

She wanted to kill Stefan and she couldn't care less about helping Elena because for the first time, she really saw it the way it was: Elena was the beginning and the end of all her problems and all her pain. She didn't care for her anymore.

Having pondered for a few hours in isolation, she came to a conclusion - very surprising one - that Damon was also a victim. A victim of his brother. A victim of Elena, who had been manipulating him (and everyone else) with her seeming fragility.

It was bitter knowing that no one had ever thought about _why_ Elena was worth saving, _why_ everything revolved around her and her safety. The only answer was: _it's Elena!_ But was it really that? Wasn't that Katherine in the first place? Bonnie was convinced that if Katherine had been alive now and chosen Damon as her genuinely true love (as much as Katherine Pierce had been capable of love), he wouldn't have thought twice about Elena. Not because Damon was spineless, but because Elena was literally the ultimate filler for where Katherine was missing. But without a spark.

Bonnie hated thinking like that, she really did. When had she become so vengeful? So evil? She kept repeating to herself that Elena was her best friend. However, it couldn't erase the thoughts that were creeping up in her mind, thoughts that were convincing her that Elena was her enemy. Maybe if she saw Elena, she would forgive her... No, even that idea made her sick, she couldn't help it. Forgive what, anyway? Her existence?

She reconciled the fact she was never going to speak to Elena again, she would live her life and the moment she'd die, Elena would wake up and live hers.

It had taken five years. Five years of up and downs, but without Elena, Bonnie'd felt more alive than ever. And once again, Elena was the reason it had been taken away from her. She'd had to die for her. Enzo as well. How foolish it had been wanting to protect her. And at the end, if it hadn't been for Elena, Stefan would have never killed Enzo.

"This isn't me," she whispered with tears in her eyes, "she's my best friend. I don't want my best friend to die, no, no... Someone must be messing with my head. No!"

She punched the wall. "This isn't me," she cried. "This isn't me!"

 _If vampyrism causes feelings to magnify_ , she thought, _I must've hated her already as a human._

A scream ran through the whole Boarding House like a thunder.

* * *

"That was very strong," a voice behind her said with a hint of noblesy and authority. "I'm truly impressed."

Bonnie stared at him, stiffened and pale.

"Oh, did I startle you? My manners, I beg your pardon."

"Cade," Bonnie uttered. "So you came yourself."

"I understand you actually asked for me, didn't you?" he replied.

"I did, for a fact," she nodded, still not quite convinced whether it was a phantasm or whether he was really here. She subconciously retreated as far as she could from Cade, so now she hit the wall with her back, prevented from escaping.

"I can read the confusion and fear in your mind," he told her, "but I think that my actions will prove my honesty to you easier."

The door's lock broke and it opened. "Now, go, you're free," Cade said.

Bonnie watched it suspiciously and she didn't move an inch from where she was sitting. She looked up to Cade and asked: "What's the catch?"

Cade smiled. "You're very smart and interesting woman, Bonnie. We have so much in common."

"We do?" she repeated mockingly.

"First things first. If I'm correct, and I'm always correct, you want me to give you back your dead boyfriend. I suppose you understand that nothing's for free."

"I know that," Bonnie said, "I'm willing to do anything it takes."

The Devil started walking across the small cell, laughing. Suddenly he stopped.

"Even if it means someone can die? You've always been such a caring person, willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends..."

Bonnie clenched her jaw and bit her lip. After supressing the anger and emotions that bubbled inside her, she sighed and nodded.

"Anything it takes," she said.

Cade burst into laugh again. "Oh Bonnie! I'm really starting to like the vampire version of yourself! The hell is made for those like you."

Her eyes lighted up in realization.

"Do you want me to become your servant? Like the Salvatores? Like the Sirens?"

Cade shook his head: "No, not in the sense you mean. But I want you to bring a few people down there for me."

"That's it? Just a few people?"

"I won't make it that easy for you, my fellow psychic. Or should I say _ex_ -psychic by now. Really sorry about that, though."

 _Psychic? My Grams called me that, years ago when I began realizing about my powers. What does this mean?_

"Did I do it again? I'm really sorry to confuse you. Anyway, back to our deal," he ordered.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

"To demonstrate how generous I really am, I'll give you three options. The first, you will have to temporarily become my servant and kill as many people as the Salvatores failed to bring to me. The second, kill Damon Salvatore -"

"I'm never killing Damon, ever!"

"That's why," he said warmly, still smiling and showing his teeth, "that's why there's the third option: kill Elena Gilbert."

Bonnie held her breath. Elena was dying anyway - how would it make any difference if she killed her? To have her blood on her hands?

"Damon would never forgive me if I did that," she noted blankly.

"Well, there are still two more options. But seeing you categorically refused the second one, I suggest you go with the first," Cade shrugged.

"But that is impossible! I would be stuck with you for eternity! I would never get Enzo out," she said breathlessly.

"That is also true, I admit. The choice is yours, Bonnie Bennett," Cade replied, "however, I suggest you don't waste your time. My offer is time-limited."

Bonnie closed her eyes and covered her face. She couldn't cry, but she was desperate to hide. The person who she needed to hide from the most, was herself - any decision she'd make, it'd hurt someone.

"I'm waiting, Bonnie. Unless, of course, you don't want to see your boyfriend ever again. That'd be shame, wouldn't it?"

She clenched her fists tightly, convincing herself to be brave and strong.

"I will do it," she said after a while. "I will kill Elena."

Cade nodded and said: "If this is what you choose, there's one more thing for you to do, but I suppose that it'll come off as a gift for you. Kill Stefan."

"What?" Bonnie wondered. "So if I don't kill Damon myself, you want me to do things that will make him wanna kill himself?"

"Well," Cade raised his eyes as if considering it, "you could put it that way."

"Why do you even want him so much?" she asked.

"Because he resists me. And I tolerate no disobedience," he explained. "If Damon fails to be a sincere servant, he shall suffer. And whether he dies or sees his loved ones die, both are equally satisfying for me."

"I don't want to be a tool in your evil plan." Bonnie crossed her arms.

"But Bonnie, we're making a deal here. You are no tool, it's your choice," Cade exclaimed. He made her nervous, because despite everything, he remained calm and kept sort of dignity.

"Hurting my best friend is no deal to me!" she said.

"I won't take this momentary irritation literally," he replied. "I suggest you leave before Damon comes back. I'll give you some time to think about this. But I know already what decision you'll make. I'll be there when it happens."

Bonnie stared at him in disgust, fear and with respect all at the same time. The fact she hated the most (and she knew he could read it in her mind) was that he actually nourished the seeds that had already been in her mind, all the things she wished to supress because that was the right thing to do. She didn't have a weak mind: he just told her things she secretly wanted to hear.

"See you soon, Bonnie," Cade said.

He vanished in a blink of an eye. Bonnie wasn't even sure if he'd really been there, if she'd spoken to him. The door was still open. Then it had to be true.

Bonnie focused her hearing to find out whether there was anyone in the house to beware of. She heard nothing, no conversation, no noises. If anyone were upstairs, they would be no harm to her alone. She ran away from the cell, intending to disappear before any person in the house would even get to notice her.

But the house was in fact empty.

* * *

Elena's state was critical. This time, there was no supernatural cause nor solution; the devices ensured each basic function. If they were turned off, she'd die within moments. Damon, otherwise refusing to give up, became hopeless. He couldn't accept that in the world of countless supernatural threats Elena would die of being a fragile human, being at the wrong place at the worst possible time. That was it: the "spell" and Bonnie's vampyrism were all nothing but speculation.

He began to feel he was actually the only one who cared about Elena. People had gone on their seperate ways. Caroline cared about Stefan, Stefan hid from Bonnie, Bonnie wanted vengeance. Elena had disappeared from their lives unless she was a trouble. Damon was bitter to admit it, and angry for needing to remind them of who Elena was to them.

All the research was leading towards a single conclusion: there was nothing supernatural linking Bonnie and Elena anymore. The rest was more or less an occurance that had never happened before and therefore could not have been recorded in grimoires. Damon was sceptical to leave Elena's fate in hands of medicine, which itself failed to make her heal. But it was the first time in his entire life that it was more powerful than anything supernatural, since Elena was immune to the one thing that could save her even after death: becoming a vampire. He held onto the hope that there was a link between Bonnie and Elena, because it'd mean that it was something that could be fixed. What the supernatural couldn't reach was a lost cause for him; he felt utterly powerless despite being one of the most powerful creatures on Earth. But Elena wasn't lost, never had he ever cared for anyone as he cared for her - it was instinctive obligation to fight for her anyhow.

Running out of options, Damon decided to do the scariest, but most logical thing. Give Bonnie the cure. Obviously, Damon counted with the possibility she would become suspicious by such a sudden change of course, but even if she decided to stay a vampire, he would cram it down her throat just as he had done with the blood to finish the transition. He assumed it wouldn't be necessary. He weighed the pros and cons, in fact, and concluded that, speaking of Bonnie, appeasing her with the cure was better than if he'd had to make a deal with Cade about Enzo. Rather keep the devil out of the business.

When he walked down the stairs to the cellar the morning after speaking to Bonnie, Damon wasn't surprised by the silence. She was very peaceful prisoner, especially for a hungry vampire. He smiled imagining her reaction to the cure, expecting he would win her back that way, get her to help him with Elena. He was convincing himself he did it for Bonnie, but under all that there hid the real reason: the hope that it would solve his problems and heal Elena, the hope that it was supernatural.

The plan fell into pieces when he saw the door broken and the cell empty.

"What the hell," he cursed silently. Damon didn't think twice about who could've let her out - it must have been Caroline. Who else? No one knew she had been down here. Meaning he had two more problems to his name, two vampires with a temper: a captive who escaped and a control freak wanting explanation. But first...

He dialed Bonnie's number, just to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. It was pointless, it jumped immediately into the voicemail.

Dialing Caroline led to unpleasantly surprising discovery:

"What do you mean 'where's Bonnie' - I'm asking you all the time!" she replied raising her voice. "Just tell me what happened already!"

"Wait - so you didn't..."

"Didn't what, Damon?"

"Where are you?"

"In the boarding house, where are you?"

"Downstairs."

Caroline was there in a second, standing in front of Damon. It was not a friendly conversation, he sensed, she did confront him.

"How long have you been here?" he asked as she arrived.

"Came a while ago, why?"

Damon went to pour himself a glass, leaving Caroline without an answer.

"Look, I'm tired of being left out," she said. "Stefan's gone, Bonnie's gone, Elena's sick and you're all cryptic. Just spill it, ok?"

Damon looked at her distrustfully. However, he figured with displeasure that now he needed her help.

"Stefan didn't kill just Enzo, he killed Bonnie as well."

Caroline opened her mouth slightly, but no sound came out. Damon, having pourred himself a glass of bourbon, gazed up on her to see she had a hard time processing.

"Bonnie's dead?" she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Technically," Damon replied, "practically not really."

"Are you saying -"

"That we have a newbie vampire running in the streets, who I had locked up, down in the cell, absolutely fool-proof. Until someone let her out," he smiled without humor at Caroline.

"Are you serious?" Caroline yelled. "Why would you lock her up?"

"Because," Damon spread his arms and took time to answer, "safety reasons."

"That is no answer!"

"Alright, blondie, alright! If you want to know, be prepared to be hurt."

"Why would I be hurt?" she wondered. "You make no sense."

Damon briefly explained everything that had happened and what he'd been about to do. Caroline's reactions were mixed, but none of them was confusion. The only thing she questioned now, though, was how to look Stefan in the eyes again, knowing what he had done to her best friend. On one hand, she knew she should stand by her, but on the other hand, she was inclined to stand by Stefan, especially if Bonnie was about to kill him despite her promises.

"So if everything's clear now," Damon said, "we should get out and find her."

There weren't many ways for Bonnie to find out where Stefan was, and it was even more difficult for them to search for her. Even though now, in the morning, she couldn't have got far without a daylight ring.

In the car, Damon began once again demanding his answers about Sybil.

"I told you already I'd taken care of it," Caroline sighed.

"What was the deal?"

"There was no deal. I mean, she just wanted some kind of a dagger in the Armory, so I just told Ric to dig," she shrugged.

"What? And you don't even care what kind of dagger it is?" Damon was shocked.

Caroline grinned. "Of course I _care_! I'm on it, but as long as Ric doesn't find anything, there's not much to worry about."

"So she gave you no deadline?"

Caroline thought for a moment, then said: "Yeah, she did, but that's not important now. What's important is to find Bonnie, give her the cure and bring Stefan back. And keep Elena alive."

Damon geared up, thinking to himself that he didn't believe for a second that Caroline had the things under control. His intuition told him it was completely the other way and he only wished it didn't threaten Elena's safety.

However, there were only so many problems Damon could handle at once and he thought that whatever Caroline screwed up is for her to fix. The goal for now was one and only: to find Bonnie.

* * *

Killing Elena was simple to agree with, but hard to realize. Seeing all those machines and knowing that pushing a single button would kill her made Bonnie panic. She hoped that Elena would fight back _somehow_ but lying here like this, she was totallly defenseless. Bonnie wasn't able to kill her like that - Elena did her no harm.

Bonnie asked herself whether sacrificing two lives of people she would have once died for was a suitable price to pay to bring her love back to life. She figured that even then, she would be paying for her wish for a long time. It was now obvious to her that Cade had manipulated her; she would never do that to Elena. And there she stood, beside her bed, obliged to end her life.

The possible solution to make the fear go away and mercilessly kill her, was to turn off her humanity. _But then,_ she thought, _what will make me care about bringing Enzo back? What if Cade will not stand to the deal?_ The killer in her was screaming with excitement. She wanted to kill Elena only for the thrill, not by pushing a button, but by draining her of blood - and it was this part of her that whispered to her to turn it off. Why hold on to the pain, after all?

She moved closer to Elena, focusing on her artery and the sound of blood pumping through. Her fangs aggrandized, making her jaw hurt a bit; she felt her face changing. Now there was nothing but the blood.

Bonnie springed to her and her teeth pierced Elena's skin on the neck. The warmth and metallic taste of the blood spilled on Bonnie's tongue. The craving was growing and growing. There was no way to stop: the basic instinct was to drink. So she did.


	6. Chapter Five - What Would Humans Do?

They were driving steadily at 80 miles per hour, having just passed the Virginia state border. Damon insisted on having the windows open, so Caroline's hair was all over the place. The air, though, was fresh as the morning was beautiful and warm. It felt like one of those morning when one didn't wake up at their own bed, unsure how to act, what to do or say. They sat quietly, both pondering over different aspects of a single issue.

"So what? We're heading to the South?" Caroline said, unable to handle the silence anymore.

Damon gave her a crooked smile.

"Your observing skills are outstanding," he said festively. "You'll see when we're there."

Caroline hissed - how typical of Damon. "Don't tell me he went back to Savannah."

Damon didn't get to say anything as her phone started to ring. _Alaric_ , it read on the screen.

"What's up, Ric?" she said, and then to Damon: "Would you mind closing the window? I can't hear a word!"

Damon grinned and did so. In his good old Camaro, he couldn't do it but manually. It was only tiny imperfection of this stunning car.

 _"Who are you with?" Ric asked, half surprised, half annoyed._

"Damon. We have a little newbie vamp problem over here."

 _"Newbie vamp? What the heck am I missing?" he asked imperatively. "He turned someone?"_

"It's a _long_ story," Damon answered loudly. "If you called just to say hi, you couldn't have called at any less convenient time, thanks for your concern, bye."

 _"Dick," Ric remarked._

"Don't listen to him. What you've got?"

 _"We found it in the loft," Ric said, "but we have yet to find out what exactly it's good for."_

"You didn't give it to her?" she asked.

 _"No, of course not. We won't give her a thing that could possibly kill us all."_

"She would have done already if she could, wouldn't she?" Damon noted.

 _"Shut up, Damon. You know about the old Maxwell journal?"_

"Yeah?" Caroline replied.

 _"I think there are instructions in it how to use it and against who. Dorian is still trying to decipher it. You should really come here and see it."_

"Now it's really not a good time, Ric," Caroline said apologetically. "We will try, okay? We will get to you as soon as possible."

 _"Hurry, Caroline," he said and hung up._

"No way. I'm not turning back unless Bonnie is save, back in the cell, in Mystic Falls," Damon refused.

Caroline frowned. "How do you know she left the town? She might have stayed. Why don't you just call Stefan? He won't answer my calls."

Damon pulled his phone out of the pocket of his leather jacket. "Here, call her," he told Caroline.

"But she's got her phone off," she objected.

"Try it again. She'll need her phone at some point."

Caroline dialed her number incredulously. They had called her dozens of times already, why would she pick up just now?

"She won't - _Bonnie?_ " Caroline gasped.

Damon could ball his eyes out. He gazed at Caroline with his mouth half-open. After a second of utter shock, he stamped on the brake. It squeaked so loud and hard it hurt their ears. Luckily for them, the road they drove was empty.

He ripped the phone out of Caroline's hand and almost shouted: "Bonnie?"

 _"Damon," Bonnie cried._

"Where the hell have you gone?"

 _"You have to come here, please."_

"Come where? Be specific," he insisted.

 _"I did something terrible," she told him._

"Yeah, you did. That really wasn't so polite of you," he reproached. "Running away like that, what were you thinking?"

"I almost killed her, Damon," she cried even stronger on the other side.

"Whoa, slow down, Bonnie. You did what?"

 _"It was him, I couldn't... Please, you must get me out of here. I'm so, so sorry," she sobbed._

Damon got startled. "Tell me exactly where you are," he said. "Are you in Mystic Falls?"

 _"Yeah..."_

"Dammit!" Damon cursed as he hung up. "Such an idiot!"

"She's still in Mystic Falls?" Caroline shouted in annoyance."But where? Why did you hang up?!"

Damon hit the steering wheel several times with his palms. "She's with Elena."

"Elena?" Caroline yelled out. "She wanted to kill Elena?"

"Think about it, blondie," he replied. "Who wants to have Elena killed? Who almost did already?"

Caroline whispered: "Cade."

"Why does he want to hurt you so much?" she asked. "I don't get it. I mean, of course I know you signed himself over to him, but..."

"Being the bad guy for the sake of it," Damon shrugged, but his teeth clenched. "Making the most fundamental mistake: have a purpose."

"What? You're giving lectures at being the bad guy, now?" Caroline exclaimed laughingly.

"Who's better entitled than me?" he replied.

"Anyone, _duh_ ," she said, "you're the good guy now. Look at you, on the mission to save the day."

"What's the point if I don't save _her_ ," he said quietly. Not having the vampire hearing, Caroline wouldn't have heard him.

"Of course you will. We will," she opposed. "Don't think otherwise for a minute."

Damon reflected for a while. Then he said: "I'm the sole reason she's getting hurt all the time. I'm tired of it. I'm bad for her, I really am."

Caroline touched his arm and squeezed it firmly. "Stop it! You've been there already! Elena loves you and you're made for each other. You know better than me that you two get the best out of each other. Hold on to it, Damon."

"It's not only Elena. What about Bonnie? Look what she has done for me. It's not Stefan's fault, nor Cade's, not even Elena's - she's getting all of punishment adressed to _me_."

Damon pushed down the pedal and turned around back to Mystic Falls.

* * *

Not hurting Elena, but hurting Damon was destroying Bonnie from the inside. The guilt was eating her every cell: this was not what one did to their best friend. And whilst it was him Bonnie was accountable to, she wanted him beside her. It was desperation: the offender shouldn't stay at the crime scene, the thief shouldn't get caught by owner of the stolen thing. And she wanted to throw herself at his arms, because he was the last person she actually had, the only person that sincerely cared. Sure, there was Caroline, but being responsible for two children, to Bonnie it seemed selfish being another liability.

But who was he to talk of selflessness or selfishness? She ruined it all, most likely. Her friendships, her hopes, all the plan Bs. She was finished.

The blood put a shadow on her mind; she thought this must have been what mental illness felt like. It didn't bother her that Elena lay there, almost ready for the morgue. What upset her was hurting her boyfriend. And the sunrise.

As a former witch, it occured to her that at some point she would be desperate for a daylight ring. Right now, it was the worst possible situation of all. She couldn't get out, but she couldn't stay inside, either, all the blood smelling at every spot of this building was like a rush, preventing her from thinking clearly.

She _was_ screwed. And in tears. As stupid as it was, Bonnie desperately wanted to be locked back in the cell with Damon taking care of what he had promised. It was obivous to her that once she put her foot out of the hospital, there would be Cade waiting for her as he had told her: it was only wonder he wasn't here already. The danger _and_ pain she put Damon through was immense, however, she needed her best friend. Probably for the first time in her life, she felt she wasn't going to make it on her own.

"You convinced me, my dear," Cade's voice said out of nowhere. She gasped for air in shock.

"You," she hissed. "You made me do this."

"No," Cade objected, "you wanted to do it first. I just helped you let go of doubts."

Bonnie smiled without humour. It was dark and deadly smile, so much it surprised the Devil himself. "I would never, ever consider kiling my best friend."

"You have done countless times already. Shall I remind you?" he asked.

"Keep it to yourself, _monster_."

"Strong words, Bonnie, strong words," he said. "Our deal is not dismissed by your sudden change of mind, I hope you understand that."

"We have no deal," Bonnie denied.

"Do you hear it?" Cade pointed at Elena's body. Around her head, neck, the entire pillow was covered in fresh blood. "Her pulse is so weak."

Bonnie frowned and crossed her arms on her chest, surpressing tears that were forcing their way out of her eyes.

"It's your fault," she said.

"Hey, you've got something over here, right there, in the corner of your lips - is that your breakfast?" Cade taunted her crudely.

Bonnie touched her jaw. She felt Elena's blood lingered on her jaw, in two streams coming out of her mouth. It was slowly drying. Never had she ever been so ashamed as she was right now. She was disgusted with herself. She could not believe she had done this. It was impossible to accept it as a fact - it was so unlike her. Even though vampires changed after their transition, did they change _this much_? Did they become someone totally different?

"No matter how hard you try, you can't escape me. And you know it, Bonnie, so why won't you just surrender?" Cade asked, apparently bored.

"Never."

Cade smiled. "I've told you I'm a patient man. We've got eternity ahead of us. But think of every moment spent without your one true love."

"I don't want him back if it means hurting every living person I love. Forget it, alright? Just stop this and let me go," Bonnie burst.

He laughed. "Am I holding you here?" he asked while still laughing. "You're free, go wherever you want. I'm not like your _dearest_ friend Damon to lock you up."

"Go, what are you waiting for?" he repeated as Bonnie stared at him in dismay.

The door was right behind him. The only way to get out was to risk going round him and be possibly attacked. However, Bonnie thought, if he wanted to hurt her, he would have done it by now. So she headed straight through the door, with regrets, hoping she would bump into Damon straight away.

Blackness spreaded in front of her eyes.

* * *

Damon and Caroline weren't allowed to run their fastest as the hospital began to fill with people by the time they arrived in Mystic Falls. Damon couldn't stop thinking they were too late.

In the unit with Elena's room, there was a deputy on patrol.

"You can't go in," he stepped in Damon's way.

Damon caught his look and said with a deep, persuasive voice: "What happened here?"

The deputy stared at him blankly and answered: "A woman in the intensive care unit was attacked by somebody and lost a lot of blood. The offender disappeared, but we have to keep an eye on her just in case. She might be important witness."

"Do you know _who_ attacked her?" Damon continued to ask.

The deputy blinked several times unable to say a word. His face resembled a little boy being caught after breaking a window.

"Answer truthfully," Damon ordered.

"It was a vampire," the deputy said firmly convinced. Caroline frowned.

Damon compelled him to forget everything and go away.

Elena's bed was not covered in blood anymore. She was pale and her lips were almost blue, her neck had a bandage on it and she looked more dead than alive. Her burns didn't heal properly and made her overall state seem even worse. As if it could be worse: she couldn't breath herself, the machine did it for her, and her heartbeat was so weak it was barely audible.

"Elena!" Damon exclaimed running to her bed. He grabbed her hand.

"Did she really attack her?" Caroline said quietly, standing still by the door. "I can't believe it. It's Bonnie!"

"I'm pretty sure," Damon replied, "that it's not really her. I was convinced she had turned it off..."

"So you suggest...?" Caroline demanded.

"I think it's much more complicated than that."

Caroline looked around the room. "Wait - where is she? Didn't she say she'd be here?"

"Good question," he said. "I have no idea."

"She wouldn't run away, would she?"

"I don't know, Caroline, stop asking so many questions! I don't know what Bonnie would do right now, I don't know anything! What I do know is that we have to find her, stop her and get her home," he explained. "Home meaning locked up until we feed her the cure or get some sense into her head."

"I'm not going to ask how we're going to do it," uCaroline said after a moment.

Damon gave her a hostile look. "Don't tease me."

"You should go to the Armory, find out what it is with that dagger," he suggested. Caroline didn't move. "Go!" Damon said.

"I'm not leaving you," she refused. "We're in this together."

Damon's face crooked as if he ate a lemon.

"This is not time to be a hero," he said, "just go, Caroline. Now."

She sighed. She looked at Elena, frowned, and then gazed back at Damon. She figured that Ric might need her more than Damon at the moment.

"Call me if anything happens, ok?"

She closed the door behind herself.

Damon pressed Elena's hand in his, ignoring the fact it was covered in scabs and bandage. She had been hurt many times already but each time she'd held her head up high, brave and strong. Now, she was powerless, unconscious and hurt more than ever. Because nothing would bring Damon more pain than seeing her die, and he was the target. That was the worst thing: if Elena hadn't been his weakness, she would have never got hurt.

* * *

The work ethic in the Armory was exemplary. By the time Caroline arrived there, Dorian had deciphered almost everything behind that dagger.

It was the only weapon against Cade. And by killing him, the entire hell would disappear with him.

"Do you ever sleep?" Caroline asked seeing dark circles under Ric's eyes and dozen coffee cups.

"Sleep? Never heard of it," Ric replied. "Have you talked to Sybil?"

"Why would I?" Caroline wondered. "I thought she was with you the whole time."

"She wasn't here at all," Ric informed her.

Caroline stiffened. "That is weird."

Ric stared at her puzzled.

"If she's not here, then where?" she asked rhetorically. "This isn't good. Does this mean she wanted to kill him? Why would she want that?"

"What does it matter now? Here's the dagger," he said. He took her hand and put the dagger in it. "Go and kill Cade before he makes even more harm. Before he or Sybil out we have this thing."

"There's more to it," Dorian exclaimed from across the room. "You have to do it in a particular way, or it won't work."

He explained that for the dagger to work properly, Cade had to be weakened and the most sufficient way to do so was with the Maxwell bell, part of which was the tuning fork that harmed the Sirens.

"But where do we get that?" Ric said, irritated.

Caroline looked him in the eyes.

"What?" he asked. "You know about it?"

"Sybil wanted it," she said, "from me. But I have no idea where it is!"

"But she might," Dorian suggested. "You should find her and ask her."

"Oh, how clever!" she exclaimed. "Because that's really easy thing to do."

Dorian half-smiled. "Sure. If she wanted something from you, most likely she'll want it until she gets it."

"And what if she has it?" Caroline said.

"Then we would have known already," Ric replied, not especially pleased by Caroline's sudden hostility. "He's right, you should try to track her down. I'm not saying you should be friends, but..."

Caroline turned to Dorian. "Does it say what the dagger would do if he was stabbed but wasn't weak?"

Dorian flipped through the pages a bit bewildered.

"Actually, it doesn't," he admitted.

Caroline smiled widely. "Perfect. We will do it without the bell."

"I don't think that is -"

"No," Caroline lifted up her hand in refusal, "we don't have much time."

Ric and Dorian didn't know the truth about the pressure of time, but they agreed with Caroline, anyway, without any suspicion, thinking that evil had to be fought fast and effectively.


	7. Chapter Six - Fire Walk With Me (Part 1)

Stefan was in the garage getting his hands dirty, repairing a car for ridiculously low amount of money. It was all he wanted, or at least everything he thought was appropriate: a small house, a poor job, high insurance bills and food companies slowly poisoning him.

Caroline looked at that sceptically.

"You can't live like that, come on," she told him each time she saw him. "Come home."

Stefan just shook his head. "This is my life now."

"Am I not a part of it?"

"Of course you are, Caroline," he assured her wholeheartedly. "You're here with me, aren't you?"

"I'm with you. But I wish you were with me. Home," she moaned.

"I am home."

"This isn't your home. Your home is Mystic Falls..."

Stefan frowned and went back to his work.

"That's history," he said after a few minutes. "I have nothing to do with it now."

"Stefan!" she shouted at him. "If you don't get your ass back to Mystic Falls, I'm leaving and I'm leaving for good!"

He threw a wrench on the concrete ground; it fell loudly with an echo.

"You can't do that to me Caroline!" he spat out. "I don't belong there anymore, don't you understand? I don't want anyone to have to put up with me anymore," he said, pushing the pedal a bit further. "I'm useless now as a human to help you, neither can I undo all the terrible things I've done."

"No, but you can make up for them."

"I'm afraid not. This is my new life and the only thing I can do is to get out of the lives of those I hurt. Can't you get into my shoes?"

"You're doing it again, you know," Caroline lowered her voice. She wiped a tear that ran down her cheek. "You're leaving me again."

Her words hit Stefan like a bullet in the chest. She had never told him that before when visiting. Yet he couldn't turn around now, it was too late.

"You were right, Caroline," he said after a moment of silence. "Some people can't be redeemed."

"You promised me, Stefan. You promised you would never do it again, you would never leave me or decide without me."

"Maybe you should go..."

She would forget about him, he believed. He was going to grow old and die, hopefully forgotten. That was the least he could hope for, because forgiveness was not an option.

Caroline's eyes were wide open. If there had been tears before, now they were dry, as if without a life.

"You want me to go?" she asked blankly.

Stefan almost ran to her. He took her face in his hands and looked straight in her eyes.

"If it was up to me," he whispered, "I would keep you by my side forever. But I _can't_! Please, Caroline, try to understand."

She opened her mouth, unable to make a sound.

"I love you," he said. "I _love_ you!"

"You may run away from your home," she said, "but you can never run away from yourself, Stefan."

"That's not what I'm trying to do..."

"Yes, it is! There's not a single person that wouldn't want you to come back home. We miss you!"

"You say that each time," he noted.

"Because _each time_ , you don't listen to me," she replied.

After a moment, she said: "I don't know what you're running from, but to me it seems like you're trying to get people that love you out of your life. Including me."

She turned on her heel and went to her car, parked near the garage, leaving Stefan completely speechless, and struck. He returned to his work, but Caroline's words prevented him from concentration.

Maybe she was right.

His departure wasn't supposed to help people forget him: it was supposed to make _him_ forget who he was. And Caroline was absolutely correct saying he couldn't run away from himself. The past just kept popping up, and it wasn't the past that was bothering him - it was Stefan himself.

* * *

 _Damon?_ was the first thing that popped up in her mind.

 _Where am I?_

"Somewhere they can never find you," Cade replied. She didn't see him though, she didn't see anything. Everything was black. She didn't even feel her own body, as if it was only her essence present. Or maybe it was happening in her mind.

 _Hell?_

"No, not hell, not exactly. You may call it limbo. Before you ask why, think about it."

 _Am I dead?_

"Of course you are, you're a vampire. But I assume we don't need to be that technical. You're not dead."

 _Is Enzo here as well? Where is he? I want to see him!_

"Do you think I would give that away for free? You have obligations to stand to. So far, you didn't prove yourself."

 _And I won't until I make sure he's alright. Let me see him, nothing else, just one gaze!_

"Alright? Do not make me laugh - he's dead! _Deader_ than you."

Then a ridiculous idea came to her: what if Cade lied and Enzo was not here? What if he found peace?

"Erm," he coughed, "I strongly doubt that."

 _But he isn't here, is he? You lied to me, you used me and made me kill my best friend!_

"You didn't do a convincing job, considering Elena is still alive. And Damon? The one you call when in trouble? He's sitting by her bed, holding her hand. And he doesn't give a damn about you." Cade smiled widely. "Don't you believe me I'm your only friend? We could achieve so much together if you weren't so hostile."

 _You gotta be kidding me. Let me go, Cade, this is pointless. You and I will_ never _be friends. Not as long as you keep hurting Damon. Not even then. Ever. Let me go!_

* * *

Damon looked at the calender. October 20. It had been eight months since he last saw her. Eight months of utter pain and guilt, because Elena was here and Bonnie was gone. Shouldn't he be happy? After all, this would happen eventually in a few decades, that Bonnie'd die and Elena'd awaken.

 _Why_ wasn't he happy? He asked himself this question every day when he woke up, each time he went to sleep. Sometimes he thought he was becoming Stefan - overly emotional and sensitive, unable to enjoy the good things in life for overthinking the negatives.

Her healing process had been fast and profound, considering she'd almost kissed the death, one from which she wouldn't come back. As the time passed, she was growing back to her human self, the one that would make a better half to Stefan than him, as Damon began to notice. He refused it all the time, but deep down, the truth was eating him. And lately, he was even running away from her - something he would not admit but that was obvious. Of course he loved her! But was he in love?

Elena didn't believe that Damon was ever going to take the cure. No matter how much his love for her had changed him before, it couldn't defy his entire existence. She remembered Katherine and how fast he'd gone from loving her to hating her. What would make Damon hate Elena? She could think of a thousand reasons why she should hate him, but she couldn't imagine a world in which Damon hated her.

She was blind to the transformation he'd gone through during her absence. She understood how deeply the loss of Bonnie touched him and how badly he tried to do anything in his power to find her. And she knew he was better of being a fast, undead vampire.

Despite that, she burst out one night. It was one of those eternally unsolved arguments over Stefan, who had never returned to Mystic Falls. Caroline, being the only one aware where he was, visited him every now and then, leaving with certainty she'd bring him back, and coming home disappointed. Together, they were plotting countless plans to get kill Cade and get Bonnie back, all of them leading to dead end.

They believed Bonnie was still alive. Until they would find her body dessicated and lifeless, she couldn't be dead. If every missing person was pronounced dead...!

"I just can't get rid of a feeling you lied to me," Elena said.

"What? Lie about what?" he asked, confused.

"I don't know. Something doesn't feel right." She didn't know what. She only hoped these blind shots in the dark would untie Damon's tongue. Among everyone, she still knew the least.

"I didn't lie to you, Elena," Damon blew out.

"Well, what about the cure? You didn't really want it, did you. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"About that, I'd never been so honest in my entire life. But this is Bonnie, your best friend, remember? I have to find her and you know better that humans are pretty slow and fragile."

"You don't have to remind me," she uttered.

"Bonnie is out there and she needs me..."

"Your brother also needs you! He's gone and hurt. We have to help him, Damon," Elena instisted. "He's your brother."

"Exactly, he is my brother," Damon said. "I know him better than anyone. Let him do whatever he wants."

"He'd sure rather be here with us. With Caroline."

Damon shook his head. "I'm telling you: Let. It. Go."

She clenched her jaw. "No. I won't give up on him. I know you all did, but I won't."

At that moment, she decided. She ran upstairs to the bedroom to pack up all things necessary for a road-trip.

"Elena!" Damon shouted. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm gonna bring him back!" she replied.

"What? You're not going anywhere!" He threw her at the bed and put all the clothes back in its place.

"Stop it, Damon!"

"No, you stop it, Elena. Do you really believe he's waiting for you to come? You think you're the chosen one?"

"That's not the point! The point is that he's alone god-knows-where because you let him go to drown in all this guilt. He thinks he's a liability, I mean, come on! He doesn't deserve that, Damon. I can find him and help him. With or without you."

"He's not lost. Been there, done that. It's history repeating itself. He doesn't _want_ us to find him, and sure as hell he doesn't want any _help._ " _Not from you_.

Elena stared in his eyes with firm expression. "I'm going," she said.

And Damon didn't _feel_ like stopping her. What was there to do, anyway? She'd always been too stubborn to listen to him - in a way, that was also why he loved her so much, because she was dangerous. So anything he'd say would get lost in vacuum.

"I'm leaving, Damon," she repeated, maybe even waiting for a sign of disapproval from him - a sign that would mean he still cared enough.

He looked her in the eyes. "Bon voyage, Elena. I have to stay," he said with low voice, almost whispering. "For Bonnie."

"For Bonnie," Elena nodded.

"Goodbye, Damon," she said and kissed him on the cheek. The door closed behind her.

He didn't feel angry nor sad, not even bitter. He felt empty. But what surprised him the most was that this feeling was nothing new. It had been there, hanging, lingering... It was as if he was holding to something that had been present in the past, but now only a shell remained. The thing that kept him here disappeared, evaporated - and left him nothing but illusion.

He was overwhelmed and stunned.

...she had to be alive.

He would have known if...

No. He'd been losing time.

* * *

"If we aren't the biggest losers ever..."

"Cheers to that," Caroline raised her glass and so did Damon, "and to the inexhaustible temper of Elena Gilbert..."

"Ah," Damon's face contorted, "don't even start with that."

"...and her ever-lasting power to switch Salvatores while causing _absolutely no damage_ to her best friends," she finished.

Damon drank the glass bottom up. He had stopped noticing the bitter taste of bourbon a long time ago, not mentioning the lack of impact of the alcohol. He would now welcome feeling anything.

"It's all on us now," Caroline said.

"It has been all the time, we just didn't pay attention to that. We ignored it like some spine-less cowards," said Damon in distaste. "And now we're drinking here - I mean, look at us."

"We shouldn't have stopped looking, right..." she suggested.

"You think?" Damon asked ironically.

"I can't believe we just went on with our lives and left her alone anywhere she is. She will never, _ever_ forgive us. It's like when she was left all alone in 1994. This will ruin her," Caroline ranted.

"Shut up!" Damon shouted at her. "We will find her, kill Cade, everything will be alright. Where did you hide that ultimate killer-thingy?"

"You mean the dagger? At safe place," Caroline assured him. "Don't worry."

"It's not about worrying, Car, it's about being healthily suspicious," he explained. "Alright, let's go get it."

Caroline's eyes widened. "What? Now? Are you serious?"

"Never have I been any more," Damon replied.

"You're drunk," she protested.

"So are you," Damon shrugged.

"Exactly!" she confirmed.

"Come on, why does it bother you now?"

"Because! This is dangerous."

Damon grinned. "Our entire existence is dangerous. Let's go!"

That was the final word. Damon put on his leather jacket and headed out of the bar. Caroline scuttled behind him, very uncertain about what they were about to do - what was it, though? Caroline could only ponder about what Damon's plan was, but a quiet voice in her head warned her that this was not going to end well. However, she got used to Damon's impulsive behaviour and the truth was that each time they had got into trouble, they escaped. So she chose to believe him... with a hint of scepticism.

* * *

The infernal fire surrounded her, the anxiety inside her chest (which she didn't have right now, as her physical essence seemed to have disappeared) was enormous. How much time has passed already? She didn't know. It might have been an hour, a day - or a year. Time didn't pass according to the known rules at this place.

"The closer your friends get, the closer to hell you'll draw," Cade announced. She didn't see him.

 _They are coming?_

Hope - there it was, always coming when the things were not going well. It was ironical: the worse she felt, the more hopeful she became.

 _They are coming._

"If only they knew that their rescue mission is getting them even further away from you..."

 _Why do you care so much about getting me to hell?_

"I guess now I can tell you. You have something I want to rid you of. Seemingly, you have abilities that contradict those of mine. You're able to create worlds parallel with ours, similar to the one we're in right now. Sounds familiar?"

 _What are you saying?_

"Oh, let's not play games with each other. You've created a world where you're hiding your boyfriend. I want you to bring him to me."

 _That's ridiculous. Even if it was true, how am I suppsosed to do it? I'm a vampire!_

"That is for you to solve," Cade replied.

 _Why would I do that? If it means Enzo's safe distance away from you, I'm gonna keep it that way._

"Then," Cade sighed, "you signed your sentence. I wish you _bon séjour_ in your inferno, Bonnie Bennett."

From that point on, Bonnie no longer heard from him when she tried to scream into the void. At times it felt like sleep paralysis when the brain was awake whilst the body still asleep - she remembered suffering from it as a child. She had thought she'd been dead each time, although she'd known what'd been going on.

Now, however, she'd been dead, imprisoned in supernatural parallel to the universe as we knew it. She felt all the things she'd never wanted to feel again: pain of losing someone, fear of abandonment, helplessness, grief...

Amongst all those things that made life horrible, there was the usual companion that made people look naive.

Hope.

She held on to that; she kept the faith as it was the last thing she had left.

 _They are coming for me._


End file.
